Which of these Mrs-Money-Bags Girl is She?
Money and love have long been married in a complex, symbiotic relationship for ages. Sometimes 'love' exists because of money and sometimes money ceases to exist because of love -- and the other person's spending habits. Lol. Money management disparities cause a lot of misunderstandings and disagreements between couples; and just when you didn't think this money matter couldn't get more entertaining, people, most times, get attracted to other people with contrasting spending habits. Hehe. Fun.
So, what's the best way to handle this baby? Recently, our reader and avid commenter, David, sent me an article, which covered a talk hosted by Harvard Law School last February. Present during this talk as panelists, were individuals who are experts in negotiation, lasting marriage and mediation and they were asked to give advice, provide solutions and share effective techniques to develop healthy relationships.
It was advised that couples open joint bank accounts because couples with joint accounts tend to bemore committed, "share money, time and responsibility".
Could this joint account idea be a middle ground for the financial management differences the couple might have? I wondered.
Of course, advice isn't one size fits all, because we all have different backgrounds, experiences and spending habits. Some people have intentions of owning a secret savings accounts, some love the idea of joint accounts, some just don't get it, some believe in spending one salary, some believe in spending till you drop and some believe in saving money till you drop.
As human beings, many of us have come up with ways around this money-love conundrum! Below is a list of 7 hypothetically real girls in different financial situations. I think when I was 8 years old, I wanted to be girl #2 and #7. I was almost #5 at some point! Have you ever been or do you know any of these girls? Which girl would you want to be? Which girl is your alter-ego?
Girl #1
Married. Full time job. Joint account with husband. No personal savings.
Girl #2
Married. Full time job. Joint account with husband. Secret personal savings account.
Girl #3
Married. No job. Monthly allowance from husband. No savings at all!
Girl #4
Married. Entrepreneur. Earnings spent on household. No savings. Husband's earnings used predominantly for savings and big purchases.
Girl #5
Single. Full time job. Joint investment and savings with boyfriend.
Girl #6
Single. No job. Manhunt.
Girl #7
Married. Concealed savings and property. And a crazy-believable poker face.
April's Pockets and Updates!
Hey, Guys! I apologize for going MIA on Monday. You can read Tuesday's and Wednesday's posts here and over there. Happy New Month, by the way! It's my favorite month of the year for some reason.
What are you up to this month? What are your plans? I pray they all work out great. Pleasant surprises only, April, and no deaths or sighs as we watch the News.
Imagine if you could reach into April's pockets and discover what it had for you....what would you want these surprises to be? I just wrote mine out and i plan to spend the day praying and planning towards these surprises! You should too!
Here are some updates and stuff to expect on PGI this month:
Updates
#1 We made it! We completed the 2 posts-a-day challenge! It was a fun experience. I guess one day we'll challenge ourselves to 3 a-day *crickets*. That's the way to work out your blogging muscles, apparently. For now though, we are back to one post a day, Monday to Friday. Thank you for your support during the challenge and every day ♥️
#2 This month I'll be trying one new thing every week. Who's with me? Last week, I made a new dish called Eni Kula, it's the Nupe version of Iru (Locust beans) stew. *kissing fingertips* Epic.
#3 We might talk about family a little bit more this month with Siblings' day on the 10th of April! They are our unsung heroes. No matter how much we get along or fail to, siblings are forever bae!
Have you done anything new recently? What are you doing for Siblings' day?
That Time Dad "Exceeded" my Gift Expectations
At the arrival section of the airport, I'd stand on tiptoes waiting for my dad to come out into the hall and when he did, I'd run and hug him. The delight of holding your dad after his exotic business trip to Hanoi or Kathmandu! He must have stories from his adventure, or even better, he must have something(s) in that bag for me *initiate x-ray vision*; some silk scarves, precious stones, Saris with elaborate embroidery. There had to be something, right? Ok, if he forgot, he'd have gotten something from Duty Free, a little Victor&Rolf fragrance or something from Ms. Coco. Bless you, Duty Free. Ok, if he skipped Duty Free, he definitely would have bought something on the plane. Straight face, no excuses.
Getting home, I wouldn't leave his side. I'd stalk him all over the house, stand by the bathroom door, follow him into the kitchen, living room, until he says, 'Ike, bring my carry-on. I have somethings for you.' Bam! Hallelujah! Plural, just the way I like it.
At the speed of light, I'd be back with the bag. I'd unzip it and wait patiently.
Dad would unpack all his stuff and then buried beneath his clothes in a very orderly pile, sometimes wrapped in a duty free bag would be papers. Yes, I mean newspapers.
'This is for you, baby!'
It would be all there; the Economist, Times, Newsweek, Bloomberg, NY times, Financial times, papers in German.
It couldn't be. Was it April? Was this a prank?
I failed to believe it. I think I must have passed out in my head. Lol. If it was April and was a prank, every trip he made since then has been followed by this prank and every month has been April. He has done this unfailingly every time since then. I didn't get it at first, why would he buy these papers for me? If he had to buy magazines, how did his fingers miss Glamour, Vogue and Cosmo? Um, where were the silk scarves and jewels?
'You should know what's going on in the world',He'd say.
He was right, i should know what was going on in the world; and yes, I should read these papers......... while wearing the pearls and scarves!
Anyway, i'd read these magazines and soon grew to love them and they became progressively easier to read (at first it took me a month to read 5 articles). Also in Business School, we were required to read the Economist and FT everyday, so that came easily to me. He planted an invaluable seed in me with all those magazines and business articles, he'll never even understand the impact of these "gifts" of his.
Of course, he also bought the silk scarves and Saris sometimes but those papers were pretty constant. I began to look forward to the magazines and less to the other gifts. On occasion, i'd wear his gift from Swarovski and wrap huge scarves around my neck while sitting on the floor surrounded by these words printed on glossy paper. Invaluable, i tell you. It's one of the best gifts you can give to a child, this habit of reading and acquiring knowledge until it becomes part of his or her daily habits. Reading is slowly becoming extinct, guys. Build good habits for your kids!
What's the best gift you could give a child (physical or non-physical)? Any habits learnt from parents? Please share below!
10 Things (plus one) that Happen to you When you Love your job
If you've always done what you love as a vocation or made a career change to pursue a dream, then you've probably experienced one of these points mentioned below! Here are somethings that happen to you when you love what you do for a living:
1. You hate sick days
2. You have eureka moments more often
3. You have a lot of bed-side idea scribbles (keep a notepad by your bed)
4. Your to-do lists look pretty sexy
5. You. Love. Mondays (Yeah, right)*
6. You don't mind working weekends
7. You take less desk selfies (Yeah, right#2)*
8. You forget to eat
9. When people ask you what you do, you are either extremely enthusiastic or extremely hesitant to tell
10. You are expected to be happy 24/7; you, after all, are 'living your dream'
11. You have days when you are frustrated with this thing that you love to do but it only lasts 4 seconds and then your back to hating sick days and the desk-selfie drought.
*The points with 'Yeah-rights' in parentheses are actually true. I've stopped hating Mondays and stopped taking so many desk selfies.......we have to do something about those desk selfies. I miss them.
What do you love about your job?
Why You should go dancing this weekend
It's Friday, Monday's desirable cousin! What to do? Umm. Go dancing, of course. Here are 3 reasons why you should:
#1 Dancing promotes physical fitness and is a great from of aerobic exercise. Personally, it's my go-to on those days of full-fledged gym truancy (which are usually during the weekends). I turn on the TV or listen to an upbeat playlist using my headphones and dance, works like a charm.....on a treadmill.....going at 8 miles per hour.
#2 Dancing as a frequent activity is also associated with self-confidence which, you'll need on Monday morning....and really every other day....but those Monday mornings, especially. They need all the help they can get.
#3 Dancing makes you smarter by increasing the number of neural pathways in your brain and who wouldn't want that! A study shows that dancing protects against dementia, improves cognitive acuity and optimizes the use of intelligence during decision-making. After reading that, I would often remind myself to break into a dance randomly. The trick though, is to be creative with it, according to this article by Richard Powers of Stanford University.
If you don't feel like leaving your home, all you need to do is dance along to a music video or your favorite playlist. I have a video of myself dancing to Psquare's Shekini lol. It's not flattering but it sure built up those pathways, made me feel better about skipping the gym that day and probably boosted in me some self-confidence!
Are you a dance-enthusiast? How often do you dance? Are you dancing this weekend?
Letters to my Greatgrand-Daughter: The Rolex Effect
“Direction is so much more important than speed. Many are going nowhere, fast”
Dear Charly,
Instant coffee. Fast food. Attention spans of eight seconds. ATMs. Quickies. These are features of the world I currently live in.
Nevertheless, amidst this deep-seated dependency on speed and the power of 'instancy', Rolex Société Anonyme takes out one year to make one Rolex watch.
One watch. Twelve months. Two hundred and fifty working days of piecing together each element, to make a time piece so perfect and flawless.
A baby born at the same time the first piece of a Rolex is assembled, could very well be weaned and walking by the time the Rolex is to be on the market. It's not a mass production effort and it goes without saying that you’d value a Rolex over a Casio (no offense, Casio). Rolex watches have a reputation for excellence, finesse, precision; qualities which you can see wasn't devised based on this urgency factor.
Take a cue from Rolex and resist the instancy factor, Charly. Soak yourself in self-improvement exercises and don't jump on the market until you are 'fit for all weather'. Get off the haste wagon and breathe. Take your time (but not forever) with everything; decisions, relationships, marriage, even chewing!
With relationships, there's no rush there, I must tell you. With your occupation, remember to take care of yourself first. With people, be patient and listen to what they are really saying.
In this fast world I live in, I have learnt to take my sweet time. I stop and breathe while others are moving. I brew my tea (sometimes). I chew like a snail, i make well-thought-out decisions (most times). I listen a little longer, my gaze lingers by a second.
Don't let the crowd drag you along in its frazzled haste. Rest. Watch. Laugh. Listen. Most importantly, work on your character. Become the best version of yourself. It might not take a year like a Rolex or it might. Either way, it makes you a better person and from that emanates the Rolex-effect; the natural aura of luxury and perfection.
Love,
Greatgran x
Previously published on old space.
Note to Self: Breathe
Do You Practice any of these 5 Eating Habits?
Apparently, you are not only what you eat, you are also how you eat. Sometimes, i wonder what all the fuss is about with eating healthy, exercising and why my Fitbit nags me all the time. I'd like to be left alone on a raft with an endless supply of food! Then i remember my health goals for 87, which is to be a hot granny! Who is with me? Here are 5 eating habits that promote healthy lifestyles. Do you already practice any of these habits? If you do, please share below!
1. Chewing slowly
Are you the last to finish at the dinner table because you chew like a snail? Apparently, it's a great habit!
Studies show that chewing slowly has tremendous health benefits. It helps to relieve stress, to maintain a healthy weight and to maximize caloric consumption! Chewing properly also takes the pressure off your gastrointestinal tract (GIT) during digestion. This is because well-masticated food digests easier and promotes GIT health.
2. The Apple test
If you already do this, you are probably on your path to several clean bills of health!
Recently, I discovered that asking myself if I'm hungry before opening the fridge might be the key to healthier eating. Eating is a response to hunger, not a hobby (this I discovered, much to my distress, sigh. Lol). Hunger and satisfaction are regulated by a mechanism in the brain, located in the hypothalamus. Excessive eating murks up this feedback process and at a point it's hard to tell if you are hungry or satiated. To know if you are hungry, ask yourself if you'd like an apple. If the answer is No, chances are that you aren't hungry. (Healthy snacks such as nuts and fruits help to manage hunger during the day in between meals)
3. Developing healthy eating habits while young
Young. Bet you are past that category, huh? According to a study at Stanford University, the most effective diets and eating habits are diets which begin when you are young. Evidence shows that developing healthy eating habits at a young age helps to increase life expectancy! This would include eating a balanced diet complete with fibers and loads of water and reduced carbonated drinks. Also see #6. Why didn't anyone tell me this years ago? Does it still count at my age? I'm young, right? In my opinion, it's never too late to begin!
4. Savoring your food
Do you take your time with your meals, consciously acknowledging all the explosive flavors that occur in your mouth?
Savoring your meals boosts your mood and helps to regulate your food portions. When we eat, our senses come alive and savoring the experience helps the brain to store it as a memory. This stored memory helps to manage portion control and binge-eating. It's the voice that tells you, 'You just ate...20 minutes ago. Ahem.'
5. Reducing TV-dinner time combo
Watching TV while eating might be killing 2 birds with the same stone; it might also be getting you progressively unhealthy. This report from Havard, shows that being distracted while eating increases food portions, which leads to weight gain and subsequently results in obesity .
Another study shows that when the event of eating is associated with the event of TV watching, then every time you switch on the TV, your brain thinks it's time to eat! This is known as habituation, the TV becomes a stimulus to the hunger center in your brain(same as in #2), which leads to overeating, an increase in caloric intake and subsequent weight gain. This is so true, we haven't used our dining table in like 2 weeks! I also find myself planning multiple snack times in my mind once I switch on the Tv! Hehe. I definitely have to dissociate those two activities.
Do you think up multi-snack opportunities while you watch TV too? Do you already practice any of these habits?
P.s I found the remote by the way! Spring cleaning rocks!
The League of Extraordinary Power Couples
One day, as i sat on a bus somewhere on a London high street, mildly distracted by a bunch of noisy teenagers, it occurred to me that my marriage was not about me! Alarm bells! How was that possible? Whoever heard of a marriage not being about the bride! Well, the wedding, that bit, i could have as my own but the marriage, not really.
You see on that suspiciously warm day, i realized that the fact that I was getting married to the man of my days wasn't just a benefit for me and him alone. There seemed to be a deeper purpose. Being together had to be more than celebrating promotions, having themed house-warming parties and naming ceremonies. Ed and I were together because God needed us together, to get things done for Him. Promotions and parties were just add-ons; just the side-dishes. The main dishes were hidden in His heart and we had to find them out. Yum.
Before we got married, someone asked me what our vision was as a couple! I responded with an endless 'Ummmmm...' and several clueless blinks.
I soon realized that every couple had a purpose and had to have a vision; a strategic direction that would lead to a future they both desire. It was the thing that would keep them both on the same page, causing them to succeed as a functional unit.
Imagine if that vision was in concord with the vision God already had for them. It'll be nothing less than extraordinary.
Every couple has a divine reason they are together and anything that tries to contradict that is a distraction from the fact.
As i got off the bus that day, 3 thoughts came into my mind; (1) we needed a vision (2) I needed to stop daydreaming on buses, I always missed my stop lol (3) God needs us, the same way we need him ♥️
No matter how long you've been married, please come together and write out your goals; personal goals as a couple, financial goals, spiritual goals, goals that build the community etc. Make time to evaluate your progress and don't be afraid to do more. Remember to ask God what he needs you accomplish as a team and a family.
Please share and invite people to be part of God's non-exclusive league of extraordinary power couples!
xx