The Hot Granny Goals
“Respect your body. Eat well. Dance forever.”
I just got in from the grocery store and the cashier who was checking my stuff out kept saying she wished she could eat this healthy. I tried to encourage her to eat healthy but my eyes kept landing on the rapidly increasing total amount on the register. She grabs a sweet potato from my items and nods, saying she will change her diet. Note, by this time, my bill was already sky high and I was cringing with every beep of the scanner. Arrrrgh, eating healthy is so expensive! But I know it pays off eventually. Like when I'm 87, I'll be doing triathlons!
My goals for 87 are reliant on one of my friend's granny. She is the coolest grandma that ever liveth. She's so healthy too! The last time I saw her was in 2007 I think. She was about 87 years old, I remember because she told me how old she was. How rare is that? An 87 year-old who remembers her age. It gets better, she had no dietary restrictions. Amen to that at 87! Oh, it gets better, right after she had a juicy meaty meal, she picks up her glass of the most delicious glass of orange juice with ice-cubes bobbing around in it and she hollers to her daughter, "Bring my ice- cream o. Bring my dessert."
I think I passed out in my head. Lol!
So she had a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Something tells me this woman made very good lifestyle choices when she was younger. Exercising and eating right so she could eat whatever later! This is my plan. Eat whatever later!
Oh....... then it got better than better.
We were left together by ourselves, me and granny-goals granny. I think everyone went to sleep after the meal and my mum and granny's daughter were talking outside. So there we were lounging in the sitting room and I remember we were watching the news; she turned to me, gave me a very concerned look and said, "Did you hear about what happened to Britney Spears?"
Passed out in my head...again! Lol.
It was one of those moments I know I'll never experience again.
The Nigerian 87 year-old who asked me about Britney Spears.
She proceeded to tell me that Britney Spears had shaved her head for some reason and that people were being judgmental.
You'd agree that this is a pretty rare granny. I should look for her and get her to be PGI's July Girl! Surely she has a greatly compassionate heart, definitely made great nutritional choices earlier on in life, invested in healthy meal choices and was definitely with in tune with pop culture!
So, as I arrange my leaves (aka salads),my low fat dairy, peppers and Salmon into the fridge and pat my wallet, I know one day I'll creep out some teenager when I'm 87 while eating a mean bowl of cookies and cream ice cream and updating her on the Justin Beiber's of the time.
What life changes have you made in preparation for fab 87?
The Friendship Challenge!
Friends love through all kinds of weather ❄️ ☀️🌨⛈🌪 ⚡️💨☔️
To all my friends, old and new, 2016 is that year you have NOT been waiting for! I'm on a become-a-better-friend campaign and so I guess I'll be in your faces very much this year.
*Intermission*
Every time I post something like this, I get tried and tested immediately! I feel like there are some mystical blog deities that just send me bouts of trials, mandating that i practice what i preach the moment I publish stuff that is targeted at improving lifestyles. Anyway, i'll have another accountability post soon!
*End intermission*
Where was I? I'm trying to be a better friend and family member. 2016 is that year when I will be in your face, call you at odd hours, make awkward video calls, put up photos of us riding on camels in Dubai, throw back on Thursdays with you (beware of old unflattering photos on instagram).
P.s I have never been to Dubai, friends, 2016 is the year of Dubai! Let's buy tickets and fulfill this camel-riding photo dream!
So a quick glance on how to improve my friend status this year....
According to the Stanford Encyclopedia, friendship is built on 3 main platforms:
1. Concern: Reciprocated concern actually, not just regular concern; and according to Aristotle, spending time with your friends, wanting the best for and doing good to them is pretty pivotal to healthy friendships. Err...so no envying or being too busy or ignoring calls *blink*
2. Intimacy: Sharing experiences and information that build trust which also implies that we must avoid anything that would weaken the trust so painstakingly built e.g gossip
3. Shared activity: I need to find creative, fun activities to do with you guys! This is where Dubai comes in! *Grin*
I'm so excited about this and I know what you're thinking, my friends.....I forgive you in advance for ignoring my calls.
Becoming a better friend this year? Yup or Nah-ah?
Friendship-themed Give-Away coming up soon!
#NoFools2016
“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces”
#Nofools2016 #NothingPersonal
What If Someone Refuses to "Forever Hold His Peace" at Your Wedding?!
You know that scene in the 81st minute of a love-triangle themed chic-flick, where the couple, minister and guests are in church and the minister goes "if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace" and there is silence. The groom is hoping some random baby mama doesn't show up and the bride is whispering "God, please!!" inaudibly?
Suddenly someone's hand shoots up and disrupts the entire wedding
Well, in the movies, it's usually someone saying how much he loves the bride and then they leave the groom-to-almost-be standing at the alter. They run into the sunset and the crazy audience begins to applaud. You'd know that the movies are scripted and NO ONE ever wants a disruption at their wedding!
When the minister said this statement, at our wedding, the room fell quiet, I probably muttered, "God, please!", like 12 times. Then, the videographer recording the event suddenly swings his camera to the audience, hopefully expecting some yummy-sushi-like drama!! He was sorely disappointed, he reluctantly turned the camera back to the altar. LOL.
4 Hilarious Things my Mum Taught Me
I love my mum and if you knew her, you'd love her too. For decades now, all we who know her have tried to understand the way her mind works but we can't. We've given up on the extent of its complexity. However, I do attribute my sense of humor to her. Here are 4 things she taught me while I was growing up that crack me up whenever I think about them:
"Eye Kinesis"
From an early age like most African kids, I learnt the art of "eye kinesics", which is the communication of thoughts and feelings through a system of arbitrary signals mainly through the pupils and eyelids and the eyes in general. This usually took place when other people were around and I was being naughty and mum couldn't vocalize her thoughts.
I'd look at her and surely there would be a message there; whether I was trying to accept a gift I knew I shouldn't be accepting or eyeing the guest's Fanta (Fanta is my weakness), or pestering her about wanting to go to my friend's house in front of guests (who ever used this trick?)
Anyway, she would dish me some eye-kinesis.
It was always like those old Asian movies, where the camera zooms in suddenly on the master as he stares directly into the camera with an accompanying smacking sound, then a sudden close-up at the student with a random-"hmmph!" sound. Lol
Mom miyagi-ed me into understanding that it was possible to understand another individual without speaking!
It's remarkable that mum would look at me and I would understand instantly exactly what she meant. I could even hear her voice in my head. Even more awesome, flashes of the things to come, a glimpse into the future if I disobeyed her signal; smacks evermore.
Boob Heads-up
"If you let a boy kiss you, he WILL feel you up."
Mum taught me this at about 14.
Mama taught me that if you let a boy kiss you....he will reach for your girlies. By girlies, I mean your breasts. I always cringed at her bluntness but she was right. Indeed, it seems this is how the masculine mind works: lips connect....right hand/left hand activated (or both, God help you).....up,up, land on boob tarmac.....pause.....wait for resistance or slap.....none....feel 'em up! Mum is hardly wrong, yo!
But how did she know? Hmmmm
Intelligence Gathering
Mum taught me that if I want to get information from my spouse or child, 5AM it is!
5 AM, mum is sitting next to me on my bed and talking. Then she begins to ask specific questions to obtain the information.
"So, what is that boy's name? The one that called you? What does he do? " "Doesn't he have anything to do during the day, other than to be calling you all the time", "Don't let him touch you o.........or has he kissed you?", "You know if you let him kiss you........."
Then I begin to confess like a witch. Lol! The best time to collect intelligence is between the hours of 5 and 6. It's amazing, this skill, of course there is a method to it. You disarm all crankiness by praying softly for your subject at first. Once they are disarmed, softly ask away.
CIA, you guys should employ her. Her skill would be an irreplaceable asset.
"Chill baby girl"
Mum has taught me to chill. Not everytime work, cook, clean, scrub, drive. Sometimes, chill. One of the things that baffle her is the marked difference between the aging process of couples. Men don't get old fast, women do, she says that all the time in Yoruba, "Okunrin o kin gbo o." Truly, I've noticed that women do look older than men as they grow older. She's of the opinion that looking older than your husband at any given time is a No-No! So hire someone to do these things on occasion and chill baby girl. Chill.
What fun things have you learnt from your mum ?
6 Environmentally-Friendly Tips for your Wedding
It's 2016 and we all owe it to our planet to be environmentally conscious and 'green', right? Loving the earth every day and taking care of it is our responsibility, even on our big days! Many people give it very little consideration because we are a little preoccupied with the perfect cake, perfect flowers, the 9-foot chocolate fountain and the ice sculpture of you and bae standing under the Eiffel Tower or some other landmark of considerable importance. No one cares about the earth on their wedding day! I definitely didn't care. I didn't think my own event contributed to any environmental degradation, but it probably did, for one, the cooks in the backyard cooking with firewood so we could get the authentic jollof rice taste and aroma may have made a little contribution. That rice though....😍
Now seeking ways to right my wrong but Earth, you and I know jollof rice ain't jollof rice without firewood. So we have to find a middle ground. A "smoky-flavored jollof rice" seasoning might be the solution; Nestle, Unilever, I just dropped a product development pitch in your lap. BAM!
Ok, things went jollof-centric suddenly. Back to the reason for the post; here are a few things to consider when planning a "green" wedding.
Electronic invites
Paper wedding invitations are pretty (most of them, anyway) and are tangible, which are their main selling point. Although, thought should be given to electronic invites. They are instant; no wait times and are paperless. You and I know where paper invites end up; fending off soldier ants in the rainy season- ablaze; as make-do dustpans and in less dramatic parts of the world, I guess they just end up in the shredder. I know how long it took for me to make a decision about my paper invitation cards, to think that's how they ended up, lol, yup, I should have done the e-invites. Two e-invite platforms that make very pretty, chic invites are paperless post and labellecarte.
Wedding dress(es)
Do you really need two dresses? If you do, Make sure your second dress is beautiful and practical enough to join your wardrobe subsequently. Reuse makes the earth happily green.
Bridesmaids dresses
To all the bridesmaids out there, I got you. Let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, there's a higher chance they'd pick a dress that could be reused for other occasions with little or no modifications. Pretty Dresses= Happy bridesmaids= Reuse= Green wedding
Favors
Are your favors useful? Yes? Are they useful short-term or long-term and unique? Honestly, if I could trade in all the plastic fans favors that accumulated in my house in 2005 and the wall clocks in 2008 for a kobo, i’d be writing in my beach house somewhere on the Pacific. Favors are given with the right intent; to honor the bride and groom while giving out a gift to the guests. Give out favors and souvenirs that are useful and unique.
Gifts (registry)
Get people to spend wisely by setting up a registry with things you actually want and also to avoid duplicity. Many-a-wall-clock strewn around the homes of newly-weds, when they actually would like a pressure cooker.
Flowers
Use fresh flowers from the bouquet as potpourri. Even though the bouquet falls apart after the toss most of the time. If you have them all around reception area, potpourri is a good idea! Here's a link on how to make potpourri!
Here are more tips for the hard-core nuptial environmentalists.
Have a wonderfully green wedding and if you are throwing rice as confetti, remember to sweep it and eat it for dinner!
Lol!!! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I just had to.
xx
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Everyone!
I have zero New Year resolutions! Yay! I do have goals though. Dangerously ambitious goals relating to all aspects of my life; for one, God and I need to go back to our 5&6 status; I need to build on my professional skills; need to build on my kitchen portfolio-the amount of rice I ate in 2015, could probably fill a 3000 square feet house; need to learn to use chopsticks-no more asking for forks at Chinese restaurants; I need to say "Splendid" when I'm pleased and not "Yay"- overused that expression; need to stop saying "Ah!" when I'm surprised, as the Yoruba girl that I am. I might resume again in 2017, though.
Most importantly, I have huge goals to get to know my readers more and to express my appreciation more often. So, thank you for the support, love, comments, messages, wishes on PGI in 2015. I pray God makes this year fun and full of life for us and that we continue to learn as a community.
What are your 2016 goals?
4 Surprising Things That Happened to Me in 2015
1. I became a Justin Bieber fan!
I blame his new album. I can't believe I started liking him! I had been so indifferent for so long but now I'm a fan of his music, I can't deny. After watching him perform at some show in New York during Thanksgiving, I guess it's safe to say, I'm now a bieliber...senior citizen's category.
2. I moved to a city that I had always flirted with but never really took seriously
Remember when you were single and you'd flirt with that cute guy at work, like every other day and then suddenly you guys are married...... in less than a month?
You don't?
Yeah well, something that unlikely happened to me. It was pretty weird. I hadn't ever imagined I'd end up here but i'm delighted i did! *Flirt* *Flirt* *Wink*
3. I had so many Action-packed dreams
This I blame entirely on my devotion to Blacklist and Game of thrones, more Blacklist though. Ed and I also watched mostly action movies this year, for some reason. Thank God, I had Downton Abbey to dilute all that adrenaline.
Hmmm....it would have been nice to dream about Downton Abbey though, drink tea, eat crumpets and weetabix and listen to Adele.
4. I twitted for the first time ever!
Ok, that isn't so surprising. Nope wait, it completely is! It's 2015 and I was still a Twitter-Virgin in October! I liked to imagine I was the only Twitter virgin out there but probably wasn't...*shrug*. Anyway, I'm now a proud account holder with 83 tweets, follow me @pagesbyike and let's get random. Another surprise: I had thought I would be a chronic twitter.....tweeter..... (do they call the people who tweet, twitters, tweeters or Twitties? Smh, I'm so far behind). Strangely, i'm not too addicted to it but i am developing this new love for it though.
What surprises did you have in 2015? Married in less than a month? In your flirt-city suddenly? Dreaming about John Snow's ressurection too often?
