12(plus one) Marriage Turbo Buttons for 2016
Sometimes, marriage might feel like an airplane; complete with turbulence, smooth flying, being stuck in a confined space with someone who farts (*blank stare*), cruise control, altitude changes. Fun stuff, this post's focus though, is on being stuck in cruise control. If you feel like your marriage went a little passive in 2015 or before and it could do with a little "-umph" and some engine revs, you should try hitting some turbo buttons. Trust me, you won't regret any of these suggestions and if you are into New year resolutions, this works perfectly. If you aren't, of course, you don't have to wait till 2016. You can start now! Hit those turbos!
1. The "Naked" Button
Sleep or cuddle naked more often, it causes the release of oxytocin which gets you a-bonding, even tighter than before!
2. The "Shorter fights" Button
End those fights quickly. There are just so many other things to be doing, see Button # 8!
3. The "Deal with it" Button
Resolve deep-set issues, the types you both know but never feel like dealing with. Yup, those bad boys, they morph into problems down the line.
4. The "Nag-less" Button
Nagging kills. It does. No joke. One minute nag-nag-nag, the next, ploop on the floor.
5. The "Turnt Up" Button
Party with bae! Dress up, go out. Celebrate each other. Studies show couples who celebrate eachother's achievements are happier! Party!
6. The "We-time" Button
Create time for challenging activities with one another. Do all the stuff you tagged eachother on IG in 2015, saying "Relationship goals" or "This could have been us."
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7. The "No plus One" Button
Also known as "the No third parties" Button. Deal with your issues yourselves, even if you need to lock yourselves up in a room and sort the issue(s). Two is better than one and trust me, two is better than three.
8. The "BURN IT DOWN" Button đ
Burn it down, very often*. 2016, your year of steam, sparks, lights and everything torrid and heat-related.
9. The "Better me-Better us" Button
Becoming a better version of yourself has a positive effect all around especially in your relationships. Get self-help books and media supplies.
10. The "Flirt" Button
Flirt shamelessly publicly and privately.
11. The "Media-off" Button
Turn off the tv, toss the phones, share a bottle of your favorite beverage and giggle/chuckle/snort all night.
12. The "Game-on" Button
Play a game together (I'm algorithmically challenged, so Ed beats me at all video and phone games. Almost all games in fact, all but Basketball! Hehe!
13. The "Thought bubble" Button
Think about bae. Studies show thinking about your romantic partner increases your energy levels! So get those thought bubbles up and running, then, you'll get more energy for #8!
What are your improved relationship plans for 2016? Do you do these already?
5 Strange Things I Do in an Airbnb
Ed and I are serial road-trippers. We were on a road trip just last week and as usual we stayed over at an Airbnb apartment.
Being the moderately-adventurous and overtly skeptical traveler that I am, Airbnb and I have had a long, bumpy journey chaperoned by suspicion and distrust. I, initially wouldn't even consider staying over at one but I think at this point (after 4 successful Airbnb stays), I'm a little more comfortable in a stranger's space than I used to be. Here are 5 weird things I do unfailingly at an Airbnb:
1. Stare skeptically at the bedsheets
The first time we ever used Airbnb, we rented this really nice apartment, located downtown in a busy metropolitan city. It was a student's bachelor pad.
Problem: The sheets. They were dark colored; dark grey, almost black and that bothered me a bit. The dirt wasn't apparent and I couldn't tell if it had been used or not. As I stood there, contemplating how I'd sleep on the bed, Ed further exacerbated the situation by making a blue-light joke. No doubt these sheets had been involved in rigorous and energy-expending activities, I could now tell by the micro-creases and what indeed might have been a smear of something. I ended up sleeping on top of Ed. I couldn't imagine sleeping directly on 'the smear'.
Tip : Bring your own sheets along.
2. Find all probable hidden camera hide-aways
I won't lie to you and claim that I'm not a little paranoid in a stranger's space. I spend a significant amount of time eyeing places likely to have cameras stashed in them; in paintings, art carvings, the TV, the lamp. It's thorough search, bureau of investigation style.
3. Tiptoe around house....fully clothed
I just always feel like the owner will be back any minute. I'm fully clothed....because, of course.......the hidden cameras, and all bathroom activities, done with the lights dim or off.
Tip: Try to relax, pop open some windows, find your favorite spot and your least favorite. Avoid the least favorite, be rooted in your favorite spot. Take a breath, there are no cameras, probably.
4. Eat jollof rice and plantain
I, unfailing, bring along on my road trips, a nice food warmer filled with jollof rice, plantain and chicken. I think I learnt this from my mum. One of those fun things I learnt from Ma. It's my instant make-me-feel-at-home drug.
Tip: Take something along that reminds you of home. Make it your own space for the duration.
5. Initiate Barricade
When it's bed time, I pull up a table or dresser across the bedroom door. Actually, I just put my luggage against the door (I'm no light traveler either) Lol. I keep thinking the owner's disgruntled ex will show up or some random person would pop into my room. Sigh. This is just ridiculous but I keep doing it. All that trouble.
Tip: Read reviews of Airbnb hosts and if dragging a cupboard across the bedroom door helps you sleep better, then do it!
Don't mind me, Airbnbs are fun. They are much cheaper than hotels; definitely more flexible on food options; provide a chance to meet new people (or not); you get tips on getting around the city. Try it out on your next trip!
What weird things do you do during Airbnb visits? Do you drag a dresser across the front door? I can't be the only weirdly paranoid person out there!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Everyone! I hope you are having an awesome season.
I apologize for going MIA for a couple of days, y'all know it's completely out of character. My last two weeks have been pretty wild and full of unexpected incidents. I'll give you the gist at a later date.
How's Christmas going? What are you up to? I spent mine with family and spent like 5 days opening a huge gift, that God unexpectedly dropped at my door! Yay, God! Way to go, papa!
How are you celebrating your season?
Remember Christmas without Christ is just 'mas' which is pretty random. 'Merry Mas' .....makes no sense at all.
That amazing cozy feeling you get from the Christmas season, the sleigh-bell rings,the carols, the 'ho-ho-ho's, gift boxes, the cheer, the tidings, reindeer antlers, santa hats, Christmas trees sold in traffic (for Lagosians), jollof rice, snow....all that magic...is no magic at all; It's really the effect of Christ and the great love he has for us! Let's make sure this love goes round, there's more than enough for us all!
Season's Greetings from PGI!
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4 Reasons You Should Try 'Naked Thursdays'
It's time to eden-ize those Thursdays (or whatever your favorite day of the week is)! The scientific benefits of shedding your clothes and just air-bathing for extended periods of time are pretty great. I mean, God knew what he was doing when he plopped Adam in the garden naked and leafless.
Guy or girl; married or single; embracing your naked self is the way! Here are four reasons why you might want to toss them garments into the wind.
(1) Gets you closer to Bae
Being naked had to have had its benefits with Adam and Eve. Right?
Studies show that couples who cuddle or sleep naked experience an increased amount of oxytocin in their neural system. Oxytocin is the hormone which creates that feeling of vulnerability and trust. It also might be the key to exclusivity in relationships (i.e no cheating). According to this study, men who were given doses of oxytocin seem to crave their partners and showed mildly aggressive reactions to strange attractive females. In their words and i quote, the men "....preferred keeping a significantly greater distance between themselves and the temptress....." Ain't God fab? Made us naked, so we could cuddle and get flooded with oxytocin and be committed; everyone's happy.
Naked couples probably fight less too, yet again because they feel vulnerable and it's just not possible to take an angry naked person seriously.
(2) Makes you self-conscious (which is NOT a bad thing)
Being naked often, makes you body-conscious; it helps you appreciate those parts of you that have been hidden under all that fabric! It also nudges you 'to drop and give twenty' or for some people, tells you to eat a little more.
You can imagine that you'll also be hair-conscious.
(No more wax day postponing. The more naked you are, the more Naked Thursday doesn't look like a Tarzan movie set. By the way, Tarzan is out next year, I can't wait! It's pretty star-studded too. Samuel. L, Djimon Hounsou, Margot Robbie, Christoph Waltz! Christoph Waltz is the villain again! He's like everyone's sweetheart villain!)
(3) Healthy Loins (hehe, loins)
"Breathe Again"(*in TONI Braxton's voice*), this will be your lower regions song to you! Being naked keeps you aired out and fresh underneath, and who doesn't love that?
Un-aired, musky loins can lead to an increase in testicular temperature, which in turn could cause a case of low sperm count, we don't want that. So, get rid of the clammy and let it go, let it go, don't hold it back anymore!
Women also stand the risk of UTIs and infections with dark, musky crotches and this can be prevented by sufficient aeration and healthy breathing. Woosa, anyone?
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(4) No Laundry
You don't have to think about that day's contribution to laundry or you can plan Naked Thursday on a laundry day! Everyone wins; your clothes are clean, you are airy and healthy, bae is happy! Just chill on your non-leather sofa and watch reruns of your favorite show. Try to avoid going to the kitchen; making ogi or custard or starch; frying; ironing; extreme sports; fights. You are several levels of vulnerable, so respect yourself. Lol!
When last did you try Naked Thursday?
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Cold/Flu Hack: Homemade Lemon Ginger Honey Tea
This infusion recipe is probably one of the best things that happened to me in 2015 and a great healthy habit that i quickly imbibed without blinking! Imagine a combo of three Superfoods; ginger, lemon and honey! That's a triple punch of antibacterial, anti-fungal and antioxidant properties that fight colds and sore throats, prevent cancers, aid digestion, flush out toxins, all the while tasting so good. It's perfect for any weather; perfect for that moment when your tummy starts growling at midnight and you know you should steer away from that carb-heavy jollof rice; perfect for recovering from your post lunchtime food-coma; perfect for kicking the flu and colds in the mid-area!
What you need
Lemon juice (1 1/2 tablespoons)
Ginger (chopped into 6-8 fingers)
Honey
Hot water
Step 1
Place chopped ginger in a teapot or mug and add hot water. Steep for about 10 minutes. [For a stronger flavor, boil ginger in two cups of water.]
Step 2
Extract your lemon juice
Step 3
Combine ginger infusion and lemon juice in a mug
Step 4
Add honey!
That's all! Just sip away. It's so easy and the ingredients are easy to get! That cold will think twice next time. If you've made too much (like there's any such thing), store in the fridge. You can always heat it up later.
You should also try it cold. I haven't tried it, because i'm more of a heat-seeker but my friend says it's epic! Try it out and tell us how it went! Enjoy!
That Time I called up an Ex
As someone who has a healthy ex-life, I've had a couple of ex-related epiphanies for reasons far beyond me. Not necessarily the best kinds of epiphanies too; usually a muddle of bad ideas with good intentions. One of the less catastrophic ones though, was the time I drew up a list of people I wanted to apologize to because I had been a little insensitive at the time we ended it.
So like Adele, I started this Ex outreach program. Lol.
Now with every epiphany comes the light bulb, a smile, a raised forefinger and the general feeling that it's a good idea; it won't take you long to find out it's not. It's literally is as disruptive as going to a graveyard and digging up old decayed bones and then caressing them.....just because. One thing I can say is, exes like Adele and I are looking for trouble; calling someone after so long, looking for closure or looking to apologize for doing them wrong is just not ideal.
Back to the Exes' outreach program. I wanted to apologize because I had been naughty in the past (said that already) . The plan was to apologize via text (I know, I know, the cowardly way) and make peace. So, I started with the first name on my list, (picture me digging up bones and caressing). He apparently thought I was trying to get back with him and that i was flirting, so he proceeded to 'flirt back'....intensely. Cringe. Ever so intensely, it was disturbing.
Yeah, that definitely pulled the brakes on my apology list. Never got through the rest.
In Adele's case, she was looking more for closure, than anything else; yeah, equally a bad idea. I've never really been a fan of seeking closure from another human being. It would mean that I can't live a normal life until I have their 'OK'. Example, imagine an ex cheated, would it make any sense if you lived your life chasing after him to find out why he did it? Err...Nope. Your closure is in your head. True, you ran into a less-than-satisfactory individual. Fine. You learn your lesson, you move on, you live joyfully ever after. Finito!
Anyway, I love "Hello", I sing it in the shower, behind the wheel, I pop out from behind walls singing,"Hello, it's me" to Ed; I've seen the video about 20 times, watched about 50 covers, over 29 memes! So yeah, I love the song. I'm sure it sparked a crazy ex-calling-frenzy since October. If you are thinking about joining the frenzy, just remember; caressing bones!
Have you ever pulled an Adele? Thinking about pulling an Adele? Any "Hello...it's me's?" Share, o please share!
Did anyone notice the guy in the video wouldn't just shut up? He kept talking and talking until he got dumped. Lol.
Note to self: He who talks too much will eventually be left in the rain
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My Top 3 'Hello' Covers! (It sounds so good when guys sing it)
Hello by Ciuffi Rossi (O these amazing Italian guys! Yay, Italia!)
Hello by Taps Mugadza
My Friend, Diana's fave cover
Hello by Omawumi
PGI's December Girl- Ike
If you thought being a student was fun and you spent it in a perpetually nifty state, looking like you just stepped off a runway, every minute of the day, put your hands up! ..........Now ignoring those people. Lol, kidding.
This month our PGI girl is someone, who does make student life seem a little more glamorous than I would imagine! By contrast, my student make-up life comprised of bad hair days, stress pimple surprises, some eyeliner (usually drawn in a hurry and all squiggly), brow pencil, a little mascara and a dab of Vaseline lip therapy. I'd eye the liner blunder, ignore the pimple, cover up with large geek glasses and burst out the door!
You see why I feel the need to honor all the girls who make the effort to look good to class or work or bed, even? A thousand salutes and loads of respect. It really is something to be admired and celebrated.
A couple of weeks back, I had the pleasure of chatting with the wonderfully stunning Ike Saliu, she's someone whose style I greatly admire. She has a fun and brave sense of style and upholds this all while being a student! In case you missed it, we have the same name! She's the 'Ike' that actually cares about her fashion life as a student; I wish I had her around during my bad-liner days.
She has huge dreams of becoming a TV/media director one day, a day not too far away. She talks about slaying as a student, her favorite make-up vloggers/ lifestyle bloggers and what she misses about Nigeria.
Let's meet her!
Where do you go to school?
York University, Toronto
What are you studying?
Human Resource Management
What's your morning phone app sequence?
First, I reply messages i left hanging after falling asleep; then WhatâsApp, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr. Pose. Then my Bible app, then Elevate and Lumosity for my regular brain exercises.
Your student life makeup fix?
I draw my brows (theyâre essential), apply foundation, set it with powder. If I am having a presentation, Iâd put on eyeliner, apply blush and put on a nude lipstick but if Iâm not, I'd simply use mascara. I usually go with a natural look for school.
How long does it take you to get ready?
1 hour, 30 minutes, if i have braids on. If I have a weave, 2 hours because i have to style it. It takes me 30-45 minutes to wear my makeup.
Favorite Makeup Vlogger?
I LOVE talking about my favorite YouTube make-up artists. I watch an awful lot of them but my two favorites would be Msrosposh and Sonjdradeluxe.
Recommended makeup remover?
Biore or Global beauty care make up cleansing wipes.
Clothes or Makeup?
I finally know what it feels like when people say theyâre in love with two people. *laughs* I love and iâm crazy about both equally! That being said, if I am to pick, Iâll go with what had my heart first, since i was 6 years old; Make up
A makeup mugger is trying to steal your makeup purse, in a dark alley. He gives you a chance to take 3 items from it. What would they be?
Oh, this is a hard one, my Guess by Color Pop Lipstick, my eye liner(i feel naked without my liner) and my brow pencil, i can't go out without brows. Also this pencil can't be gotten in Canada, so respect that and step away, mugger.
Favorite nail polish color
Burgundy!! I also like purples, pinks and blues
What song describes you at 5.30AM?
Future ft Drake , Where Ya At? Tbh it describes me 24/7
Night time habits/routine?
When I get home, the first thing I do is open the pot/fridge/cupboard to search for food or snacks (this is because I am always hungry, no matter the time of the day). *Laughs* I make some tea and change into comfy clothes, wash my face (make up or no make up) , clear the bag I took out (i just love my bags being empty), turn on my laptop to either research, watch a movie or Youtube video or complete an assignment. If I'm home all day, Iâll look for food as usual, wash my face and be on my laptop .
What do you miss about Nigeria?
I miss being driven in a car! *laughs* I miss that i donât get taxed when I shop. I miss the hawkers (i donât know why). I miss suya, agbalumo (the best fruit ever), Christmas at home, my momâs cooking, my parents and friends.
Favorite Blogs
Kummy-kaybee.blogspot.ca, Pages by Ike (I love it so much), E-online, Justjaredjnr, Blvckcosmic.tumblr.
What are you reading these days?
School texts, ugh .
What would rather be reading?
I'd rather be reading the books in my cupboard and Malcom Gladwell books
What are your winter study time must-haves?
Tea. A show or movie during my study break. Snacks. Chewing gum
4 Things Learnt....
1. Empty my bag/clutch when I get home (maybe I'll finally find that tub of lip color I've been looking for).
2. Wash my face every night, whether or not i put on makeup during the day
3. Learnt that Ike likes Future! ....... at 5.30am! Lol. Someone's clearly a morning person.
4. It's possible to look good as a student
Thank you so much, Ike for being PGI's December girl!!! Love you!
PGI loves to honor everyday people who inspire. The great news is, we are all capable of inspiring!
If you would like to be a PGI feature or would like to recommend someone (male or female) who is inspiring in anyway, please contact me here, or send me a DM on Instagram . Remember to mention in less than 4 lines why you think you or this person is inspiring. Brag Away đ
5 Things to Know When Your Unofficial Girlfriend Is Engaged to Another Guy (2)
In the last post, we tried to pacify the men out there who lost their unofficial girlfriends to a more 'vocal-about-us' type of man. I mean a kind of man who doesnât wait for her to ask the âWhat are we?â question; the kind of man who just puts it out there on the tableâ the words, I mean, a man who in a couple of weeks/months, he puts out a ring on the table too. Then *poof* sheâs gone.
You see her proposal on Instagram and since then Chris Brownâs âThese **** ainât loyalâ has been on repeat.
Guys, you really have to make your intentions known, 21st century or not, otherwise, it will get conjugal all up in there, and guess who wonât be invited? You!
Iâll be honest, till you put a ring on it, girls these days consider themselves free agents (no thanks to BeyoncĂ© and those two backup dancers, raising the bar for men and expectations for women to where it should be, thanks Bey).
Some men have reported feeling âused and dumpedâ after this experience. Sigh. We hope you feel better after finding out about all the forces and laws at play, when that whole pseudo-dating thing was going on with you and her. Included also is a possible explanation to the mystery of how she translated so quickly into someone elseâs Mrs.
These 5 laws at play are my opinion. If you have more theories, please share below in the comment section! Here we go.....
The Law of Eeny Meeny Miny Mo (aka the Law of Alternatives)
Men, don't you ever think you are the only contender. Thereâs a legion, for they are many. There are many guys after this girl. If she gave you some of her time and then you left her buffering, leaving her unsure about how you feel about her, wrong move, mate. In every decision making process, alternatives are considered. She got engaged two months after because she had alternatives who were CLEAR about their intentions! You gave her away to the Plan B guy. Tsk!
The Law of Assumption
Men, do not assume because you kissed, you suddenly are exclusive. Nope, means nothing on the long run without an explicit expression of your emotions and intentions. Be explicit, otherwise, you'll find yourself sitting in the back table of her wedding reception with some uninvited strangers stuffing their bags with food.
The Law of Inquiry(or the lack of it)
Girls, if you don't know what's going on. Ask. There's nothing unbecoming about being informed. These aren't the days of Jane Austen, when your mum probably had to ask what the man's plans were. Open your mouth and ask that question : "Are we officially in a relationship or not?". Remember to get an answer and not a stand-by suggestion.
And if he laughs at you for asking the "what are we?" question, you know what it is.
Best time to ask the question, is when he tries to kiss you for the first time. Put your palm in his face and ask what in the world he is doing. âWhy are your lips here, bro? What are we?â
Hullup, hullup........
"What are we?"Â
The Law of the "Sharp guy"
Be advised that the world doesn't stop just because you can't make up your mind, men. No one has the time to waste, not the girl and not the sharp guy who snatched her from you. Ain't nobody got the time, at all. If you refuse to tell her how you feel, she will be engaged in two months.
Na wa o.
I know, right.
The Law of "Not Carrying last"
Girls, be sure that after leaving a guy who has said absolutely nothing about how he feels about you, you don't jump into a rebound relationship. Please be careful to end up with the right person. A marriage proposal doesnât require you to give a positive response all the time. Take your time, shun society's pressures, familial pressures and Instagram wedding photo-pressures. Eyes off everyone, just do you.
Photo Source
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