5 Things to Know When Your Unofficial Girlfriend is Engaged to Another Guy
Here's a fun story:
Boy meets girl. Girl falls deeply in love. Like deep, DEEP, like she fell, FELL (repetition for emphasis); so deep that she breaks every single bone in her body (If you said bone, BONE, you're a genius).
So anyway, girl falls hard and boy falls too. They are in this beautiful place where they can't get enough of each other. They are always chatting and tagging; laughing and teasing; hugging and kissing.
However, because it's 2015, boy doesn't quite make clear what his intentions are.
Let's all pause and think about a guy we know who does this as a habit.
[Got a name? Ok, insert the name every time you see 'he']
"It's 2015" he says, " No one makes being official a big deal. No one asks a girl out anymore. It's 2015!"
Now in boy's mind, he thinks he has a girlfriend or some derivative of a girlfriend. He thinks they have an unstated understanding of exclusivity.
Girl, on the other hand, is dying to ask the "What are we?" question but is pretty conflicted on the inside; she doesn't want to seem too desperate, she thinks she's a 2015 girl too, so she doesn't really need a statement of commitment; then there are those stupid memes that make girls who ask that question seem stupid. She really really wants to know, she needs to know but she still doesn't ask.
Their relationship begins to dwindle. Soon, they drift but still do not quite end it officially......because of course, what's there to end?
Here's the punch line:
Two months later, girl is engaged!
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone....🎧
I've heard this story, one too many times. I decided to write a post on it because I know the girl in this story is usually looked upon as a branch-swinging monkey, jumping from guy to guy, in a record amount of time, to achieve her new marital status. I am here to defend the girl....and the guy.
To all the disgruntled men who have been ditched by this girl, please understand that this situation was beyond your control. Psych! No it wasn't! You were very much in control of this situation. In fact, everything was hinged on your decision to publicly declare that you wanted to be in a relationship with her. How easy would that have been? Say,"Would be my girlfriend?" Seriously, say it out loud. See how easy that was? Better late than never, huh?
15A.D, 2015, 2030, 2078, the Jetson-age, doesn't matter, you have to make your intentions known! We all wish you said something to her but now she's married or engaged.
......It's not warm when she's away.......🎤
I know you are kicking yourself every night as you think about her and you're thinking about pulling an 'Adele-Hello' on her; thinking about crashing the wedding; thinking about stealing the bouquet before the ceremony starts; thinking about raising your hand during the "forever hold your peace" bit.
I sympathize genuinely, I do but she had to do what was best for her.
Bet you have some questions though like, what happened? How did she get over you so fast? Was she dating someone before? How do you explain this sudden engagement? Is she a branch-swinging monkey?
All these will be answered in the sequel......*drumroll*
......Ain't no sunshine when she's gone and she's always gone too long, anytime she goes away🎤 ........More like forever
Minimalist Santa: Nerdy Glam
New week, new crush-items! If you ask me about any of these items in my sleep, i definitely can tell you where to find them and spell out their corresponding URLs, its that deep.
1. Congrats to our Fitbit Give-Away winner! More give-aways coming up on PGI!
2. I'm currently reading this book and i recommend it highly. If you have any entrepreneurs in your life, grab them a copy.I think at least one quote from it frames my day, everyday. Available on Konga and Amazon.
3. And of course, you should be reading #2 while wearing these festive gems from Swarovski!
4. I currently have on yellow nail polish and as i type this post, a part of me is all giggly and bubbly on the inside. Yellow is such a delightful color....there is a reason minions are yellow... go figure
5. Who has caught this yellow-fever too? Yellow Carry-all Tote , Banana Republic
6. This is a painting from Debra Cartwright. I have one of her paintings in my creative space and 3 things hit me when i look at it; girl power, hair goals and #feistydoesit ! Mix some Jesus in and you are all set for 2016!
In other mistletoe-related news, let's remember to bless people who have no warmth (both physical and emotional) this season and always.
xx
4 Things I wish I knew on Dating Boulevard
It would be so great if we all had a map, compass and a picture of "The One", as we walk down Dating Boulevard (DB); better yet, if we had Google maps and the red pin was where the one was at!
Wouldn't it be bliss, if Dating Boulevard was a ruly, civil road free of crazy people; if it had traffic wardens so we don't get run over by those same crazy people. The interesting thing is we DO have wardens, we just don't pay them any attention; friends, family, even ourselves. Sometimes, your inner self is like "There's something odd about this guy; his long, curly lashes and his slow blink and the way he stares directly into my soul. Careful." Yup, we have self-checks. Then the emotional part of your brain goes,"......*sulk*......But he stares into my soul and give me butterflies and my heart is beating like a jungle drum!!! Rroo ka do ka do goong ka do ka roo doong."
We ignore our warden and then BAM! Curly eyes runs you over with his heartbreak-mobile.
Clearly, this lady has been more successful on DB
I got on dating boulevard pretty early, so I've had my fair share of run-overs. In no time did I realize I had to learn to be street-wise. I had taken a couple of wrong turns, jay-walked aimlessly and ended up at someone else's red pin.
I admit, i did meet some interesting people along the way but still wish i was a bit more savvy. Here are 4 things I wish I knew on Dating Boulevard:
1. Develop your bullshit-o-meter
54% of the time you can tell if a person is being dishonest. Pretty good odds. More than half of the time, you can tell a jerk from a true catch. O, what needless heartbreaks we bare, because we do not develop our bullshit-o-meter. I definitely could have avoided some miss-road situations and curly eyes if I had developed mine. I could have cut them down by 50% ! Pay attention to your wardens.
2. Know when to cut your losses and jaywalk
Hanging on to someone who clearly wants nothing to do with you is an absolute life retardant. If you think about in DB terms, it's actually stalking. Lol. Find someone who makes all effort to make YOU happy and then respond accordingly. Your happiness comes first, look out for yourself. The streets ain't loyal.
3. Do some research on curly eyes
I think one of the most exciting things about dating is the tingling excitement and manic butterfly episodes that happen in our tummies. Still, research and scrutiny are your best friends. Don't try to kill the butterflies, just scrutinize according and keep your own happiness formost. Find out about him, his past. Knowing if he's a serial-heartkiller helps tremendously, don't you think?
4. Let "the one who got away" get-the-heck away!
There's probably some crazy science behind craving the one who got away. Pause while I go find out ---- haven't found anything, if you do, please let us know. Ok, so i seem a little intolerant of the ones who got away. They just tend to do more ruffling than anything else. They confuse and cause unhealthy doses of nostalgia. You keep running into him on every corner of DB. Keep moving. No second glances, no detours, otherwise you run the risk of missing your red pin!
Sometimes the one who got away is a blessing and "away" really is where he belongs!
Any "curly eyes" experiences? How do you (or did you) survive Dating Boulevard? Share with us!
6 Must-haves for Your Wedding Dress Fitting!
Wedding dress shopping!!! One of the most delightful things you'll ever do. You get to swim in endless pools of lace, silk, charmeuse, tulle, velvet (well, hopefully not velvet); you get to be as indecisive and irrational as you want and no one can do anything about it! Enjoy it while it lasts.
When I started my shopping, I wasn't really inexperienced because I had already gone on a pre-proposal wedding dress hunt (feel free to judge, read here). Still, I wish I had a list of things preparing me for my real dress hunt. Here's a little heads up.
After scheduling your visit to a local bridal shop for your fitting, make all necessary preparations to ensure your appointment goes smoothly. Below are 6 must-haves for your shopping experience convenience! Nothing fancy. They will help to simulate your big day as much as possible, so when you find the dress of your dreams and are standing in front of that three-way mirror, you can safely gasp and tell yourself that you aren't too far off from what you envisioned for your wedding day. The only pieces missing would be the groom and the angels singing. Here goes:
A Strapless bra
You will be trying on a ton of styles and if you know anything about wedding dress designers, you'd agree that baring clavicles and shoulders is what they do. Try to avoid bras with straps for the day, it masks the beauty and intent of some styles. Instead, opt for a strapless bra. Some silicon gels would have been splendid but they are very impractical for this because they probably will keep falling off.
A formal mess/Bun
Wear your hair as a formal mess or bun. If your wedding hair style is an updo, show up at your appointment with your hair already in a bun or some form of hair-pin-crazy updo. If you plan to have it down for the wedding, up, might still be ideal for the fitting, we don't want your pretty hair stuck in a zipper.
A pair of Heels
At your appointment, your stylist may ask you if you have your wedding shoes with you. They usually prefer if you do, so they can see if your shoes would work with the length and style of the dress.
If you haven't bought your wedding shoes, take along any pair of heels you think would be the same height as your wedding shoes. If after you read this post, you completely forget all i have said, have no fear, the store stylist will be glad to lend you a pair of heels for the duration of the fitting.
Lenses
If you wear glasses, lose them for the day and stick in some lenses. Remember you are trying to simulate your real day as much as possible. If you have no lenses, forget I said anything. Glasses it is.
[Considering wearing your glasses for your big day, get some inspiration from this beautiful bride i stumbled on! Too adorable.]
Friends
Take a friend or two or three, depending of the allowance of extra guests at the fitting appointment. Make sure, for the appointment, you select friends who have good judgement and are not afraid to tell you to step away from the goose feathered trumpet dress.
Photos
'Auditor' is every bride's second name. Take as many photographs as possible, every angle, every trim of every dress. You will be making yourself a cup of tea and staring at those dresses probably till your screen cracks if you are anything like me. Decisions. Decisions.
Have fun shopping! Share with us your wedding dress shopping experiences!
Accountability Post: Garri vs Salad
This is my accountability post. The one where as the writer of a life-hack blog, I give account of the better decisions I have made recently.
First up, The Garri/Salad dilemma.
I never thought i'd say this but last night, I chose a salad over chilled garri. I don't know if it was a mood thing but I think I really might be making better life decisions! *crickets* Ok, so the jury is still out on whether I made the right decision there but still, I was proud of myself.
Better decision in a bowl 💋
Next, The Young&Restless Fix.
Last week, I stilled my tongue and refused to gossip about this amazing Young-and-Restless type intrigue and drama situation, not even with Ed. We have both decided not to gossip about other people with each other. My will-power muscle was stretched on that one. Everytime I felt the urge to say something, I just looked to the side, out the window and minded my own business. Minding my business is so cool though, all the stuff I can achieve in that time..........
Next up, kicking procrastination in the mutz (not a typo and also not a word)
I've been giving procrastination a knee in the mid-area. It deserves it and much more. Now, I'm trying the trick of breaking my tasks in to smaller, more manageable tasks. Also, studies show that if you start a project, your brain will prompt you to finish it, more like nag you, because it needs the closure, it needs to see that the task can be ticked off as resolved. I'm trying it and it's working. The trick is to start and the trick to starting is to break the huge task into teeny bits!
What great decision have you made recently? Nothing is insignificant. Good decisions should be celebrated (hence the garri celebration), whether it's putting the phone down and resisting the urge to flirt with an ex, paying back debt quickly, letting go of grudges, choosing not to be stuck in a random relationship, understanding your place with God, passing on garri, choosing not to complain or remembering to shine your light!
Share with us! What awesome decisions have you been making?
Life Hack: Repetitive, Loveless Sex and other stories
“It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.”
Yet again, the bible nailed it! NAILED IT! So apt, i could close my eyes, whirl my finger and stab the screen and be 92% sure that i'd hit something i can relate to. Those are all the not-so-fun things that happen when we do our own thing and ignore God, when we live by our own plans.
Stuff goes wrong when i go my own way
Each one is amusingly and painfully true, I don't even know where to start. Ok, maybe line 9: "the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival." That moment when you irrationally believe none of your friends should drive a BMW like you or be as successful as you are (Beep. Rival alert) or that moment you meet a nice looking lady and you conclude that she's trying to steal your husband (BEEP!) LOL! Borderline cuckoo-cuckoo. This is what happens when we don't spend time with God and let our minds run amok and be ruled by our emotions instead of His spirit. Good news though, we hacked the "frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness" problem (line 4) in a previous post.
It all ends here; God gives us freedom, the way we use it is completely up to us. If He had his way though, you would love and be loved, not be trapped in a cycle of repetitive, loveless sex with some random person; you'd be delighted every second of your existence, rid of all mental garbage; you'd dream big and achieve greatness; you wouldn't be subjected to addictions, no porn-lovin', no drugs. If He had his way, we wouldn't hoard cheap trinkets, in other words, our idea of value wouldn't be so limited; values like the number of double taps on IG pictures or friends on FB. He'd rather load us with pearls, chrysolites, amethysts, sapphires and crazy-sounding gem stones we've never even heard of; He'd hook us up with higher standards of value. We wouldn't depend on the validation of people or the need to identify with a group, instead, He'd be our identity, He'd be our contentment and joy and he'd be our treasure.
Give him a chance, you've got nothing to lose.
Just for a second, go over the quote again. What part of it jumped out at you?
Minimalist Santa: Long-Throat List
You know how 'Less is more', and few is 'The new fad; minimalist, the new trend, indeed, I have made the big move from lots to lean. I've come to embrace simplicity and make the change from owning tons of stuff to just a handful of items, which is why my Christmas list is so sparce. However, minimalist doesn't mean wretched, in fact, I figured if I adopt this principle, I might as well go all out, get Hermes-y, Spade-y and Kors-y with my list! Just one of each, of course. Hehe. I guess going minimal might counter-intuitively make you greedy.
My Long-Throat List. I guess the candles kinda make the list more affordable for my secret Santa
1. Michael Korrs Rhea backpack ; 2. Light Up The Room Bangle by Kate Spade ; 3. Bath&BodyWorks Winter 3-Wick Candle
4. Bath&BodyWorks Frosted Cranberry 3-Wick Candle; 5. Tiddly Nail Polish by Butter; 6. Bouquets Sellier Twilly by Hermes
What are you craving this Christmas? Whatever it is, don't forget to pick up some scented candles to spice up the festive atmosphere.
What's on your long-throat list this Christmas? What's on your real list this Christmas ?
Thanksgiving Post- Grateful for your Breasts!
Some of us start wearing brassieres from the teeniest AAA cup and then as they get bigger, let's be honest, we get confused somewhere along the line and get stuck using B's and C's.
To add to our confusion, no thanks to rappers and r'n'b singers, we've also come to believe "double D's" are the ideal size for hotness. Of course, making E cups and anything above, cringe worthy, so we stuff our lovelies into D cups and tuck them and pop them and have them spill to the sides, providing little support for our twin girlies.
They deserve so much to be grateful for and appreciated, whether melons or limes. All sizes are magnificently designed by the great creator and all his works are blunder-free!
.....So if you are on your way to a thanksgiving dinner and you have no idea what to say when they start the round-the-table-tell-us-what-you-are-grateful-for turns, just say out loud and confident,' I am grateful for my G cup' and drop the mic!
Yup!
Let's learn to be proud of our bust (bust is so 1920's). Let's learn to love them and care for them. One great way to do that, is to wear the appropriate size of brassieres (1920's encore). Wearing the right bra size is like wearing the right shoe size, it's more comfortable and snug; it provides adequate support for your girls, which ultimately takes the strain off your back. Also, it looks way hotter wearing the right size, a lot like the girl in the photo above. Boobs spilling on the sides, bra clasping way too high just doesn't look that steamy. If you have the opportunity, please get a free bra-fitting in a store (M&S, Soma, V's secret, Rigby and Peller). Otherwise, you can get the chance to find out your bra size later on in this post!
Still on the breast-loving methods, remember to examine your breasts this month. There are a couple of things that shouldn't be done just once a year; ummm.....off the top of my head, thanksgiving and breast exams. They should be habits and those are two great healthy habits to adopt. Trust me.
xx
Never actually had a bra fitting?
Had a bra fitting and can't remember your size?
Had a bra fitting, remember your size but still in denial that you are a size H? 😏 Tuck all doubts away, get your size checked here and make someone uncomfortable at that thanksgiving dinner by being grateful for your size!
Happy Thanksgiving!