6(+1) Things to do before the end of October
11 more days in October! What to do? Here are 6 things to try before November comes along:
Evaluate 2015 goals
What were the top 15 things you planned to accomplish this year? Did you want to start blogging or designing? Did you plan to leave your job, get rid of some habits or a guy *side eye*? How much of it has been accomplished? Have no fear, there's still time for accomplishments! There are 11 days in october + 61 in Nov/Dec.
Write goals for November and December and set your deadlines
In the -ember months, I personally just switch off on goal-setting and chill till the following year to accomplish something great but there's so much time to accomplish so much still in 2015! I finally decided to write an exam I have been putting off in December. Yay! I'm seizing the -ember moment. No January is going to steal it's thunder. Set goals to be completed before the end of the year and start January on point.
Rewatch your favorite movies of 2015
For me it was the Avengers : Age of Ultron and Jurrassic world.
Nothing like Scarlett Johansson reminding me I can't dye my hair red, go to work in a leather cat suit and drive my bike under an 18-foot trailer on a regular sunny day all at once. I'd have to pick.
The lesson I learnt from J.world would have to be that family is more important than spending all your time nurturing a socially dysfunctional genetically-mutated pyscho dragon-dinasour.
Actually both stories seriously discourage you from creating crazy innovations that get out of hand and try to kill all mankind. Both also convey the fact that the cheek-bob hair style is back.
Have a before dawn- movie session on a Saturday morning
I have been trying to do this with Ed with little success. The plan is to have a complete lounging day beginning before dawn and watch a movie, probably Breakfast at Tiffany's. At dawn, we watch the sun rise from our balcony while drinking home-made herbal tea. What could be more awesome than that? Now that I've written this out I can see his reluctance. Lol.
After seeing the red moon, I've become more aware of the heavenly bodies, stuff goes on up there we hardly take note of. Maybe we'll just watch the sun rise and head back to bed.
Do something for you
Because you deserve it. 2015 is almost gone, a little pampering, huh? I, for one am in need of an economically viable exotic experience. Not sure what it is for now.
Do something for someone else
It's almost 2016! It's so exciting. Someone else probably doesn't see the excitement because they have lost hope of anything coming along with a new year. Reach out to people who need hope and give to them; time, money, love. October 22 is make a difference day, find ways to be a blessing to others!
Have a date with God
Contrary to popular opinion, dates with God does not involve dreary, long one sided conversations to someone you think might be somewhere above the skies, who may or not be listening as he has his giant white beard groomed by cherubs. A date with God really is like having a date with anyone else. I learnt this a few years back; grab your fave beverage (mine would be infusion tea), your bible and chill next to the fan/AC , in my case, the fire place and then soak yourself in the moment. No phones. No date has ever ended well with a phone between your faces. Best date ever!
What are you up to for the rest of October?
The One That Got Away
It took me 90 dresses, 3 continents and over 9 months to find my wedding dress. I figured all that time and fabric, a post is well deserved.
I started my search in London and the hunt very well could have ended in London because there on one London-typical cloudy Friday afternoon, I found Yaja. Yaja, the dress of my dreams! [I said London thrice, someone misses you, London! Four times, world record].
Where were we? I got random there, pardon me. Yes, the dress of my dreams. You know that saying "You know it when you see it." It's a little deeper than that. You don't just know it, you feel your heart strings lace up with the threads of the fabric! You can't take it off, you can't stop staring at yourself in the mirror, you can't breathe, you can't really imagine the wedding without the dress. This was the case with Yaja.
Yaja was a Yajaida princess wedding dress in the Pronovias Atelier 2015 collection and it sounds like every bit of its name; a long sleeve silk dress with this delicate pearl embroidery on the sleeve and a princess shaped skirt. I am not much of a fairy-tale believer but that day, for a minute i did see Princess Elsa run past my dressing room with a talking miniature snow man.
By the time i found Yaja, I had tried on about 60 dresses and honestly couldn't imagine a more beautiful dress [You really have to try it on to believe it]. I had never had an experience like this with any of the other 60 dresses. I never wanted to try on another dress! It was The One. I couldn't sleep! My general principle about shopping (and dating) is never buy (or date) anything (anyone) that doesn't get you thinking about it (him) at 2am. It (he) must be that remarkable and that's exactly what it was; remarkable.
Then reality hit me! Hit me hard in the face when i saw the price tag. Thank God for that slo-mo saliva-spilling whack-on-the-face reality check of price tags! lol.
Quickly, i dropped all theatrics, loosened all my heart-dress strings and jumped out of the dress. By evening, i had booked more dress-fitting appointments. Six appointments later and across the Atlantic, I found "The Other one", which proves the theory that there are two types of "The Ones", both in dress hunting and dating; The one and the The other one.
At this point you realize I have to be mildly clever to interpret that. I'll give it a shot.
Sometimes The One is over-rated. I think I may have had about 2 "The Ones" before Ed. Well, see how those turned out *crickets*. The great thing is, life always provides us with face-whacking reality checks that indicate the possibility of a life of inexplicable delight and contentment with another -"the other one", without ever having a feeling that you settled for less, maybe even much more!
I loved my final wedding dress. I loved it in a different way from Yaja. It was more concrete, the bond we had, definitely much more affordable. Strangely, my final dress was valued at a price higher than Yaja's and I got it at about 70% off! Talk about a match made in heaven. While shopping for a dress, don't be fixated on the one you can't have, sometimes, the other one might be the keeper. Plus, if you aren't willing to spend a certain amount of money on a wedding dress, then be prepared to make dreaded C word - compromise and to move on quickly. If you think about it, you are only ever going to wear it that one time. My wedding dress now sits in my closet wondering what else the future holds for it. Not a lot , that much I can tell it; so don't shop sentimentally, saves you so much stress and money!
Nevertheless, Yaja will always have a place in my heart but she is someone else's match made in heaven, just like my ex "The One's"- belonging to other people; and they'd be glad i didn't buy.
xx
This is a very small fraction of all the dresses I tried on! However, Yaja is in there! Which is your favorite dress?
Shopping tip: Eat before any appointment, forget that flat-belly-for-wedding-dress-appointment gist. Well, no eba of course but just eat something because it gets really tiring!
Have fun!
99 ways (plus one) to Fall in Love All Over Again
Don't wait for valentine's day to figure out new ways to love your other half! Start today with these 99 pretty great tips!
- Go on regular date nights
- Be best friends!
- Write his name on lipstick on the bathroom mirror (sigh, which you will later have to clean...yourself)
- Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
- Pray together
- Hide notes in secret places
- Go to bed at the same time (unless you are studying)
- Listen to music together-share earbuds
- Send him on a scavenger hunt in the house
- Buy him gifts he will love
- Write him letters
- Hide a treat in his glovebox or desk at work
- Read the Bible together
- Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
- Praise your spouse to other people
- Let them overhear you
- Read a marriage devotional
- Porn-proof your home
- Sleep in his t-shirts
- Look to him to make the big decisions
- Let her make the smaller ones
- Don’t nag him (nagging kills, no joke)
- Put down the toilet seat, pick up your socks for her
- Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
- Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
- Fight naked (with caution, ahem)
- Tell him you like him
- Receive his compliments (believe him when he says you are beautiful. Death to modesty for the moment)
- Pick your battles
- Show her you love her and tell him you respect him
- Go away together at least once a year
- Frame your wedding vows
- Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
- Kiss in front of your kids
- Make his favorite dessert
- Have pictures of just the two of you made
- Make sex a priority
- Spend time apart occasionally(and enjoy it)
- Learn to enjoy something he loves
- Surprise each other
- Meet him at the door
- Text each other from across the room
- Be accountable to each other
- Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
- Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
- Be affectionate
- Leave work and come home early
- Wash, vacuum her car. Keep it full of gas.
- Give each other romantic coupons
- Engage every day in meaningful conversation
- Compliment each other
- Touch your spouse several times throughout the day
- Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
- Let each other sleep in
- Be spontaneous!
- Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
- Kiss every day
- Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
- Forgive quickly
- Be honest.
- But not hurtful
- Get on the same page: plan your budget together
- Look your best as often as you can
- Guard your marriage
- Get out of debt (and stay out)
- Laugh together
- Have a date night in
- When your together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
- Talk about your favorite memories together
- Tell him he’s sexy just because
- Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
- Make him breakfast in bed
- Do her chores for her
- Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
- Read a book out loud together
- Dance together-soft music (alone) or rocking music with the kids
- Bring her/him a favorite drink during the middle of the day
- Exercise together-hikes, bike riding, etc
- Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment
- Tell him a secret he doesn’t know about you
- Thank your spouse just because, often
- Sit on the same side of a booth at a restaurant
- Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
- Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
- Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
- Teach your kids about marriage
- Stop what you’re doing, look them in the eye and listen to their answer
- Create art together
- Support each other’s goals
- Know when to talk and when to hush
- Consider counseling (even if there isn't conflict)
- Doodle his name
- Bring her flowers (even when she says they are too expensive)
- Wear something he loves
- Share furniture-sit in his lap
- Work out together (massages right after)
- Plan fun throw-back dates
- Fight for your marriage
- Remember your spouse rocks-even when they don’t
Have a great weekend xx
No other picture depicts love quite like this. I see this in my future....like tomorrow-future.....
This list was sourced from wearethatfamily.com but has been edited considerably. My modifications are in italics and completely off the subject, the picture to the right (or above) is #100. Make this for him/her this weekend and watch all 99 fall into place. If you have any great tips, please remember to comment below!
Have a great weekend!
7 days = Creativity
This post is inspired by Brit and Co's #iamcreative initiative. I think they just broke my excitement scale.
Next week is my creativity week. I will be taking 7 days out to create something unique, never mind unsightly, at least it would be all me. I plan to do this activity for at least an hour everyday starting Monday. I have a pack of paint brushes that I use as accent decor, I guess it's time to put them to work. I also might try to bake something or make a drawing of some sort. Whatever it is, it's going to be thoroughly exciting and i can't wait to show it to you. No judgement, remember! Safe space and all. Lol.
Some creativity tips i'll be working with include:
Know thyself, Ike: Clearly there will be no creating before 6am as it is widely known that i am not a morning person and do not like to be spoken to before the hour of 9.
Habits, Chores: I have to make sure all my chores are done the night before. I don't think Picasso woke up to a sink full of dishes and was bursting with inspiration and enthusiasm.
Ignore social media, just a little bit: I'm going to be a little behind on the memes and trends. Please, please tag me in all of them, I'll catch up during the weekend.
Read on new creative project: YouTube it, that's creativity heaven.
Exercise everyday and stay still: Exercise and moments of silence are awesome for creativity, though on opposite sides of the spectrum. The shower is known for crazy epiphanies and inspiration too. However, I will not be exercising in the shower in an attempt to kill two birds with one stone, although the thought has crossed my mind.
Show at least one person your work, artists do not like to show people what they've done but your work is all you! Plus you get better everyday. By day 7, you actually might consider a career change.
Would you like to get in on this challenge? .......unleash your inner creator? Here are some ideas of stuff to create and activities to engage in:
- An entirely new dish with strange ingredients
- A painting you'd be proud to hang on your wall or give to the president, either works, no pressure
- Photoshop editing, you could download a trial and watch what you can do to a picture of your ex! No, not that one, the other one, the awful one with nose hair! I'm kidding, no meaness. Try editing one of you favorite photos. Watch YouTube videos to help breeze through.
- Knit something burgundy, color of the season and rightly so!
- Write something, anything; an experience, a story, a recipe, anything.
- Bake something you'd usually buy.
- If knitting and cooking is too Stepford-wives for you, there's also graffiti, murals, ceiling work(MichaelAngelo style), sewing(Stepford again), sewing with leather and metal, designing, dress-making for dolls (I used to be a pro!), carving, sculpturing, web designing. There's just so much to do.
Art and creativity is renown for improving and maintaining health. If you are stressed and having a tough week, well, art and creativity is exactly the pill you need to pop. It's wonderful, feeling proud about something you have made with your hands or mind. When you get discouraged, think out loud to yourself "God is the great creator, and guess who was made in his image." Wink.
What are you going to create?
Myth Buster: The Cold Shower
This is for anyone who relies heavily on the cold shower as a means of escape from unplanned sex. It doesn't really work! Cold showers do not cool scorching pipes! I repeat, do not! Apparently, cold showers boosts testosterone, which increases the steam in the pipes which leads to you doing stuff that would completely perplex your mum, her head bending to the side, almost falling off her neck....those angles.....That was too much. My chill is below average today.
Mum: What..tha...45°, 110°, 230°....yup, something just broke
You may have heard this cold-shower-testosterone gist before, but it was completely new to me. I had always thought I'd be able to tell my son to take a shower whenever he felt the overwhelming need to have sex. "Take a cold shower my love, and watch all the kongi wash down the drain." Well, Update your info, grandma. You'd be setting yourself up to be just that, a grandma!
Testosterone is a hormone produced in the adrenal glands (the glands are a pair that sit on each kidney, double whammy!). Testosterone increases muscle mass and strength, and is responsible for the development of the male genitals, growth of hair, voice changes in adolescents. It also is responsible for the libido and sperm production and just as a reminder is not stifled by a cold shower. Just saying. Taking the shower, literarily is like being transformed into the hulk, veins popping, muscles bulking, hair tufting, stuff throbbing. It basically amplifies all the things you were feeling before you stepped under the water. Yup, setting you up for a real shower; a baby shower! Congrats in advance!
I wonder who started spreading this shower fable and why it's so popular. I guess it must have worked in the past for some people; you know how if you believe in something, chances are it will occur in accordance to your faith and everything. However, now you know, i have successfully put a dent in your faith in the cold shower. Lol. Our cold-shower-plan-B is now non-existent! Doesn't it feel great not to have a plan B, makes you have to really really work not to put yourself in a position that requires you needing a cold shower.
Anyway, do you know any cold shower substitutes that I can tell my son if he ever needs it? I'd really hate to be that bird above. Does the cold shower work for you? When was the last time someone told you to take a cold shower? Share your knowledge. This is that kind of post that no one ever wants to comment on. Lol. C'mon, prove me wrong. Remember, you can be totally anonymous if you want.
What's off my bookshelf
““A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.” ”
This might be the best book I have read all year and I have read a couple; no offense Gone Girl.
What are you reading?
Long Distance Relationships: You, Her and Jack
Let it be known that, at some point during a long distance relationship (LDR), there are three members of the relationship; you, her and Jack.
Before we talk about Jack, let's set the stage; you and your girlfriend have been dating for some time and are cheerfully resident in close proximity, but now she has to relocate to Switzerland because she has been admitted into a graduate program of her dreams. The only thing is you are stuck here, wherever here is, with the rest of us! Hi, neighbor!
So Switzerland; she settles in, you talk often, very often; skype, FaceTime, BB video, letters, letters in bottles, tin phones, the works. There are a few times when you promise to call but you fall asleep with your face in your dinner (the story of my life in grad school). Apart from the macaroni stuck in your left nostril, everything is fine.
Then comes Jackson.
Jackson (or Jack), the guy who lives in the same city as she does. The guy who reminds your girlfriend how far away you are. Jack makes it apparent how often you don't call back. He shows her all the things you do wrong and all the standards you fail to live up to as a boyfriend. He makes a big deal about how you can’t make it for christmas. That’s unforgivable, he’d say, shaking his head. You don’t deserve that. He tells her.
So basically, he makes sure you look like a jerk. This he might do explicitly or implicitly. Explicitly by saying it out loud and implicitly by doing all the things you should be doing. He shows how often you don’t visit her by visiting her, frequently, sometimes he's in the background of your Skype calls!
I don't know from under what rock Jacksons crawl out from but I am certain that there is a Jackson rock where they meet and hand out little booklets because they tend to be consistent in their behavior. He calls coincidentally when your face is stuck in your dinner. He shows up at her door with lunch/Sharwama/coffee/smoothies.....my personal favorite, friendship flowers. He doles out a couple of these famous Jackson quotes:
"You deserve better."
"What does he mean he can't make it for Christmas?"
"How do you know he's not cheating at this very moment?"
"If I was dating someone like you, I'd be here every weekend"
"Why do you have to go and see him, why can't he come here?"
"Wow, that's all he got you for your birthday."
"He mailed your gift?"
"If you were mine....."
The general one-size fits all response to all these statements is, "Do you not have anything better to do, Jack?", said in all sincerity. I don't know where they get the time and energy to chip at someone else's hard work.
However, no need to despair, there maybe some hidden advantages in this Jack matter. First, Jack keeps you on your toes, which is a good thing.
Second,…….there’s no second.
If ever your LDR encounters a Jack, it would be great if her conviction about your love for her is extremely firm. I had some Jacks at different times of my 6-year LDR and of course, the bull-headed side of me met the statements with retorts and general intransigence but still, i always found myself drawn to Ed at those times because i needed to be sure this Jack guy was on crack (I, in fact think one of them might have been) and i needed to know that all he was saying couldn't be validated. It's important to prove all Jack's comments void and to ensure her security in your commitment. Her mind has to be stronger than Jack’s voice in her head. The only thing that makes her mind stronger in an LDR are your words, attention and gestures. Keep the fights to a minimum. Be creative with your gifts. Be consistent with your communication. Beware of the Jacks.
Have you had any Jack experiences? Or Jackie experiences (see below)?! Even more thrilling, are you a Jack?
Note: There are girl-Jacks too, the Jackies. That's another post altogether.
The Secret of the Unengaged Bride-to-be
4 years before Ed proposed, I went on a mock wedding dress hunt with my sister. It was entirely her idea and i had all the possible imaginable reservations about it. For one, I didn't want to be the "crazy" lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged......... but then again, why let all the "crazy" people have all the fun! So I booked an appointment with a local wedding store, over the phone, avoiding the question "When is your wedding?" ever so skillfully with a grunt, an "a-hem" and the word "Soon." At the appointment, the woman was definitely really, really interested in the date of the wedding, so i said it was "inconclusive" for now. I guess at this point she really just thought i WAS the crazy lady who made wedding dress appointments and wasn't engaged; the one her manager always told her about.
In retrospect, i think this was the most important part of my wedding dress hunt adventure. From the trip, I was able to understand what styles looked best on me; I knew I preferred mermaid gowns and off-shoulder neck styles (I always thought i'd be a Cinderella ball-gown-kinda girl). I knew lace it was and always would be. I knew my veil had to be a statement. I also became aware that sometimes when you don't know what you want some style managers try to force dresses on you. It was a real eye-opener for me ......and an eye-slanter for the suspicious style manager.
How to pull this off...
Let's get it out there; yes, you do require some level of nuttiness for this escapade and who isn't a little nutty, huh? Apart from the benefits of acquired knowledge, it might also set things into motion if you tell your almost-fiancé about the appointment (not with the intention to manipulate him into proposing but just so he's aware and doesn't stumble on your photos one day on your dropbox account and has a heart attack); might get him thinking about the next move too.
You can make it a girls' outing! Get a couple of your girlfriends, engaged or not and do a mock hunt (each of you could book appointments in different stores to avoid being thrown out into the streets, after buying absolutely nothing). My friend, Eki and I did it once on Oxford street. We ran around in the rain, ducking into shops soaking wet, much to the dismay of the preppy shop assistants. Then we ate street crêpes in-between the appointments and after it all, ended up in wasabi eating a spicy bowl of sweet chili chicken bento while flipping through photos of the dresses on our phones. Fun!
It helped me streamline my wedding dress hunt. I also went for my real fitting very informed and confident. I knew exactly what I wanted which made the job easier for me and my style manager. Not knowing what you want is the bane of every wedding-dress style manager's existence. I got a lot of "Thank God! You know what you want! That's impressive!" remarks.
If only knowing what i wanted got me a discount, lol.
It also gets you thinking about themes, flowers, your hair and jewelry. It gets you planning a shopping budget and helps with being realistic with the numbers. Best of all, it's fun and a great way to spend an afternoon with your girlfriends without looking like the lone crazy woman who tries on dresses.
Now when you start taking photos like this with no intentions of buying anything, you probably will get thrown out! Lol! Thank you Eki for letting me use this photo. mmuah!
What are your thoughts on mock hunts? Do you know what styles you would like? Share with a friend who is nuts enough to try this with you...and then book some appointments!
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