The Mystery Guy in Proverbs 31
No one knows how to lay the pressure thick like the girl in Proverbs 31. Marriage counsellors love her, men want wives like her, parents want girls like her for their sons, girls break their backs and minds to figure out how to be like her. She truly, is phenomenal.
Men, there is a way to get a woman like her, by the way, but that's another post. Before I write a post on getting her, I'd like to point out a prerequisite. Is it just me or has any one read the first 9 verses of Proverbs 31 and discovered the existence of the Proverbs 31 guy? There actually IS a proverbs 31 guy! Why does everyone talk about the proverbs 31 girl and never the proverbs 31 guy?
Double standards alert * straight face*
They say to us, the Proverbs 31-girl wanna-be's:
"You have to wake up before dark and feed your family!"
"You have to be hardworking!"
"Be diligent!"
"Bring your goods from afar like the merchant ships!"
"Buy land with your savings!"
'ol up, people. There is a proverbs 31 guy! Let's talk about him. No more skipping over and acting like he doesn't exist. (That girl is pretty awesome though. Super-powers, mind-bending abilities and standards etc. I can't get over her)
Well, thanks to Lemuel's mum who wrote the first verses of Pro. 31, we have some achievable standards for the men too .
No more double standards.
First things first, as a man, you should know who you are and what you are worth. Regardless of pedigree, understand that you are royalty and created in the likeness of God, the one, the only. You deserve respect, first from yourself, and from that comes the respect from others. Self-respect and honor are all the swag you'll ever need.
According to the fabulous mother of Lemuel; Men (Kings) are strong, honorable, principled.
Being principled also involves not exerting yourself by sexing some random girl (they ruin kings). Kings have Queens, fact. Otherwise, card decks would be dominated by two guys who don't have a clue. O wait, plus a joker. Three clueless guys. Also, there are no random girls in a deck of cards. Bottom line, you need a Queen, not 9 randoms a week.
Don't be addicted to drinking or need it to accomplish tasks. Drinking heavily as a habit is great....... if you are dying. Any habits that impede cognizance and decision-making are not found in the characters of strong leaders.
People depend on you, people watch you and aspire to be you. Speak up for people who have no voice, no rep, no respect from society.
Be compassionate and strong for the weak. Defend the poor, the oppressed, the stranger, the women!
And THEN you can think about getting a proverbs 31 girl.
Much Love to Mama Lemuel, much love! ❤️
What are your thoughts?
Where's Jack Bauer When you need Him?
These days, i am the most alert citizen. With all the shootings, terrorist attacks and bombings, my eyes are peeled back constantly, staring everyone down.
I look at everyone's waist band for concealed weapons. I look closely at people who act strange; i'm on the look out for abandoned bags and packages; staring everyone in the eyes with my best street look. I'm like Jack Bauer's protégé! I should get my own Chloé.
I probably shouldn't be doing all that staring; pretty sure I look strange too, with my eyes huge and fixated on everyone's belt area.
How do we survive these crazy times?
Before we even existed, God had already given us tons of promises to keep us through these dark days. Simple promises. I wish they were complex but they aren't. Straight to the point and faultless ❤️ On those we rely and on them we feast.
“Trust in the LORD and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.”
5 Ways to Stop her from Snooping around your Phone
Every morning you realize your phone battery reads 34%, you can't figure out why. Before you fell asleep the night before, there was at least 89% and charging. Now your phone is placed awkwardly, unplugged and your battery is a little lower than you'd hoped. Your gaze falls on her. It had to be her. She must have engaged in her nightly perusal of your phone and communication activities of the entire day again. Your own personal phone vigilante. She definitely meticulously went through your emails, messages, likes and loves; any new girls you might be following, new friends, missed calls. She must have taken screenshots; sent them to her phone, copied your entire phone book to her clipboard because, it's the thorough person she is.
There are two main reasons women take on the undignified role of phone watch-woman: (a) You are super-shady (b) She's insecure (c) There's some miscommunication, neither of you have addressed.
If she's your phone vigilante, who flinches at every red light, every bleep and every tone, stalks your activities on social media and wakes up with eye bags the size of Congo because she's been up all night solving your infidelity conspiracy, here are 5 ways to make her stop. #1 is your friend, it's the best way to keep her off your phone. #2 is even better.
- Don't give her a reason to be a vigilante: Women have at least 6 extra senses plus the first five. If you were in our heads, you wouldn't last a day, men. This means sometimes we make up stuff. Be honest and keep your business tidy and let her know that you are worthy of trust. If you do, your phone perusal drops down to a negative.
- Give her the password: It's just that simple. Hand over the password. I just gave several guys heart attacks. haha. Openness and honesty are the best ways to eradicate paranoia, your low battery problem and all those unnecessary fights.
- Move on: If you can't do #2 because you have stuff to hide, fix it, or please move on, so another person can make her happy and not drive her insane with back-to-back vigilante shifts.
- Keep her occupied: Women have very active minds (refer to #1), bolstered by our "eleven" senses. We sometimes make conclusions before the evaluation is complete. It's always a good idea to keep her engaged in a preoccupation of some sort and not left alone to her thoughts (which run amok way too often). Encourage her to get a hobby. This tempers the perusing down only a bit though.
- Manage her insecurities: Women have insecurities, as do men. Unlike men's, ours don't lay dormant, they run wild and free and create problems. lol. The most ideal way to manage her insecurities is by letting her understand that God keeps her secure and she is perfect. Also understanding the right way to love her, in addition to your constant acts and words of affirmation of your love and faithfulness, will get her off your phone in an instant.
These 5 points are not a one-time thing. They are elements of a continuous process, otherwise, tomorrow night she'll have her whistle, flashlight and your phone!
What are your thoughts?!
14 Better-Me Habits
First, i just want to say if #9 is already a habit, we should be friends. Lol. Here are 14 habits to adopt that help with becoming a more wonderful you. I know. Just when you thought you couldn't be more fabulous. I hope it helps!
- Isolate anger from your decisions
- Spend on experiences not just items
- Celebrate the successes of others close to you, not just a flaccid 'hurray', but really mean it from within
- Tell yourself what you like about you!
- Shoot down all negative thoughts: Remember “Whatever you meditate upon you become.”
- Speak positively about yourself
- Do not complain but be grateful
- Set goals and achieve them
- Lay your bed
- Learn something new
- Visit somewhere new
- Get a pet (animate or inanimate)
- Enjoy what you do
- Do what you enjoy
Which one of these do you do already? What are your personal self-improvement habits?!
Stuff to Say to your Reflection
Hi Everyone, I hope you had a great weekend!
Starting the week with the not-so-glam Monday, as always.
This is a fun, practical post which involves mirrors and simple soliloquies! Too much fun for a Monday morning, I know.
It also involves learning a new good habit that might help get through Mondays...... and the week and maybe even life!
The New Habit: Talking to yourself, out loud
Studies show that talking to yourself is awesome! People who talk to themselves tend to be more productive, get things done faster, are able to motivate themselves right into achievements and might even be smarter.
Finally! What took science so long to vindicate us? I have been talking to myself for as long as i can remember, i survived the 'anyone who talks to himself/herself is crazy' era. Now, we can all safely come out of the closet and sing Hot Chocolate's 'Sexy Thing' to ourselves in the mirror.
People who talk to themselves always stop us in our tracks and evoke strange looks on our faces. I'm not sure why, it's really only strange because a bunch of people said it was. It's also believed to be a stereotypical habit of mad people scientists. Mad scientists, usually ARE geniuses anyway, so no harm.
Studies also show that the best way to talk to yourself is in second person as in, 'Ike, pick the orange as your snack, not that caramel-y thing.' Instead of thinking it, saying it stimulates a more favorable, positive response.....in most cases. In other cases, the caramel-y thing just finds its way down our throats.
Being vocal about your goals and plans, as well as saying them repetitively to yourself (a habit, christians refer to as confessions) actually motivates your mind and brain into accomplishing them.
Therefore, speaking to yourself, in second person, about your goals is a pretty handy lifestyle tip. Politicians, athletes, artists and a great bunch of achievers do it, so why let them and we, the pioneers of the habit have all the fun?
The Fun, Practical part: Get a mirror or go to the office restroom. Look at your fine self and say these words:
"*insert name*, You are remarkably brave and full of potential. You are talented and smart. You are not easily frightened. You care. You don't ignore the homeless and poor. You are creative and successful! Your thoughts are beautiful not ugly. You assume the best and not the worst. You are discerning. You work hard. You enjoy working hard and working out-- Ok, not really, but you will........eventually, this year (take deep purposeful breath). You drink loads of water. You eat healthy and live healthy. You make better choices. You do not spend money that you don't have. You invest wisely and save adequately. You are faithful and principled. You are successful and generous! You believe in miracles, where you from? You sexy thing. 🎶
Drumroll on the sink or wall. Then slowly back out (or moonwalk) and give yourself a little wink!
Gosh I need some chill!
p.s Insulting or berating yourself and saying things like 'I'm so stupid', 'I'll never amount to much', is a bad idea and can not be found in the lyrics of Hot Chocolate's 'Sexy thing'.
Any takers on this habit? Do you talk to yourself? How's Monday treating you?! What's your Monday morning theme song? Remember to share!
18 Questions and Weekend Chill with Skip!
We all know Skip, right? Our reader, who i suspect might be a secret writer in his spare time, who sends me letters at will and on the most interesting topics. When i read his first letter, i must have spent about 2 weeks, trying to figure out a reply. He sent me this recently; this fun, easy read with more rhetorical questions than a grumpy grandpa could have! I don't suppose i'll reply and attempt to turn this into a battle of wits. I loved it and wouldn't stop laughing! To the Yes/No questions, i think my answer was 'Yes, probably!' to all. Lol. Which is your favorite question? Thanks, Skip! Enjoy your weekend, Everybody!
Dear Lix,
What do you do when somebody wants to kiss you but you don’t want to kiss them back?
Have you wanted to kiss someone so bad but they didn’t want to kiss you at all?
Were you ever busy kissing someone and they wanted you to stop because all of a sudden they don’t want to kiss you anymore because now they want to kiss someone else?
Did you ever get tired and didn’t want to kiss anymore, but the person you’re kissing is still keen on kissing but you want to kiss someone else?
Have you ever been in the process of kissing someone in what you thought was an extremely passionate moment, and you kind of slightly open your eyes and they are wide-eyed staring at you like ‘waris dis one doing?'
Why did you kind of slightly open your eyes?
How do you handle being left high and dry mid-kiss?
What if you were kissing someone and you like it, so you promise to keep on kissing, just them forever and ever, but you’re a promise and fail and you change your mind, not necessarily because you found someone else to kiss, but you just don’t want to kiss them anymore, is that wrong?
Sometimes after they promise forever and ever, they just stop kissing you without any explanation, now you don’t know what to do with all this shimmer on your lips, how do you deal?
Have you ever found yourself wanting to kiss this certain person, but not anymore, but sometimes and at other times, but not all the time, and then you want to, but then you don’t want to, so you stop, and you start, and they don’t do it right but you like their face?
How do you tell someone you’re currently kissing that you’ve found someone else you like kissing better, so you’d like permission to start kissing that someone else full time?
Is it really important to ask someone if you can kiss them before you start kissing them?
If you kiss them without asking, and they don’t push you, but then they’re not actively, really kissing you back, but you’re fine with it because you’re kissing them anyway, is that ok?
What if you didn’t ask if you could kiss them, and when you start to kiss them, they start to scream at you and push you and try really hard to get your mouth off their face, what does this really mean?
Why do some people want to be kissing more than one person at the same time?
Why is it that some people are never satisfied even when they say they are? You kiss them all they want and "every-how" but they still want to kiss someone else?
.....So this person starts to kiss you and it’s oh soooo good, then you see pre-wedding pictures, and they’re getting married next month, what the hell?
On your sofa.
Skip
All Things New and Wonderful
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The Gold Standard of Beauty - A Fleek and a Half
My 5.45am self looks very different from my noon self. Ed can testify. 5.45am self looks a teeny bit disheveled; her scarf which she carefully wrapped around her hair last night has unraveled and is now hanging loosely around her neck. She's frowning because she's not a morning person but a recent early-bird convert. Her shoulders are droopy and she doesn't drink coffee, so she has to rely on her natural ability to perk up for the day. Her eyes are swollen because she slept late as usual. In summary, she just isn't the girl you'd see on the cover of Vogue. Now my noon-self, well, well, Charlize, scoot on over (and I might be over-estimating my appearance here, but bear with me for the post)! She doesn't look half-bad at all! I can tell you that within those few hours, some form of deliberate daily beautification ritual has taken place. Some water, toothpaste, lip color, eyeliner, some jewelry, some faux fur, heck, a cat in the crook of my arm to complete the look. All premeditated and done with the intention of banishing my 5.45am self for another 12 hours.
Here's the fun part of this post...if fun means reflective and joyfully thought-provoking.
What daily, deliberate rituals do I do, to make myself pretty on the inside? I hear people say this all the time, ' He's just cute, nothing else' or 'She's a fleek and a half and nothing else...just air inside. She's just pretty on the outside.'
I'd like to be my noon self round the clock both inside and outside! This inside bit is a little tricky though. How can we get pretty on the inside? By being determined to build character in ourselves; by deciding daily to be the better version of ourselves.
Now, my 5.45 self stares at a mirror and goes 'Nah-ah, we need to fix that', But how does my inner self see herself, or understand if she's airy and needs some substance? She probably needs a mirror; a character mirror, that tells her whether she's beautiful or not. Here's where the bible comes in. The bible is a funky, soul mirror. Loads of people hate to look into it, well, because they look a little like the 5.45am me! Well, sometimes my soul cringes when she looks into the bible too! Lol! The bible isn't designed to condemn or point at your wrinkles. It was written to teach us to develop pretty characters and even prettier spirits!
We shouldn't go out looking like our 5.45am selves and neither should we go out with disheveled, messy spirits!
“What matters is not your outer appearance-the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes- but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.”
If you missed the previous post, here it is!