107th Post Beauty-Hamper Giveaway!
This is our 107th post! If odd numbers aren't worth celebrating, I don't know what is!
So, here we are on this odd numbered post and one winner gets to win a hamper of beauty essentials worth over $150! Male readers, before you go 'Bleh', you can win this for any of the her's in your life! Why should you be left out?
What you should know:
1. The deadline is 29th February, 2016 at 11.59pm (Eastern Time US & Canada)
2. There are 4 ways to enter this giveaway, just follow the instructions in the widget below
3. The Giveaway is available in these locations: Nigeria, US, UK, Canada
4. I'm so entering this competition
5. I'm joking
6. The winner will be contacted and subsequently, the best of mode of delivery will be discussed! Please remember to read the terms and conditions also in the widget below
Best wishes!
Thank you for hanging out here daily on PGI and for your readership! 💋
Congratulations to our winner! (Edited 5th March, 2016)
How to Give Advice
#1 Don't
*Supposed End of post*
What do you think though? Do you give advice often? How does it play out? How often is your 2 cents really appreciated, especially in complicated situations; take advising a mistress or side-chic as an example. If you know any, do you honestly think she'd take your advice?
Side-chics get advised more often than a juvenile delinquent. Everyone wants to chip in and tell Stella that dating the married guy is suicide....and in some cases, Stella, it is. It really is. Don't say we didn't tell you.
The best thing to do in my opinion is not to advice or at least learn to advice properly; whether financial, career, marital, weight management, parenting advice. It has to be done right. It takes a lot of maturity and self-control to effectively advice a person and have the person really listen and see your point. Seeing someone doing something wrong and taking the time to provide reasonable, loving advice takes ALOT. If you insist that #1 is not an option and this person is really important to you, ensure its done right and read on!
#2 Have the right motive: Your motive should be to encourage, to lift, not to tear down. Your advice should be communicated in love and with the utmost respect, not with malice or in derision. If your motive is to show that you are superior, or to scorn or to gloat refer to #1
#3 Don't speak without planning out your thoughts. The great thing about thoughts is that they reflect themselves in your speech. If you aren't coming from a good place, it definitely will be obvious in your choice of words. Sort your mind out first before talking to someone else about their issues.
#4 Never ever start off with "I told you so" or "You should know better" or "A word of advice". Those conversation-starters are dynamite! They get a person defensive and slight impenetrable to your well-wishing words.
#5 Be patient. People don't naturally like advice, so take it slowly, very slowly and speak plainly. If you aren't a patient person, don't bother; refer to #1
#6 If you really must advice, make sure it's not condescending
We aren't any better than anyone else. We are just privy to some information which we are fortunate to be able to share. If "Condescending" is your middle name, refer to #1
Did I miss anything? Share below!
Good Things Come to Those who Stalk
“Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who seek the LORD will lack no good thing.”
News flash: Even lions grow weary, give up, take off their running shoes and watch their dinner run circles around them, they go broke, go hungry and lack....but those who seek (chase, delve after, pursue, inquire, quest, search out, stalk) the Lord lack no good thing. Think of all the good things you can imagine, yes, even that random thing you just thought; none will be lacking, if we just choose to chase God ☀️
#stalkGod
My Experience with the Intern Mugger (Throwback)
Previously published on old blog space.
Few things to remember while being mugged:
No eye contact, no fidgeting, no sudden movements, no movie stunts(007 is filmed on set and James is not his real name...now you know), most importantly, pray like your life depends on it.....because it does.
I pray younever get mugged, it's the second worst situation ever, right after being on a plane with a malfunction(that you can do without also). If you've never experienced mugging and you wondered a little what the experience might be like...here's my experience!!!
There I was, on a cloudy Thursday morning in Ikeja, Lagos, walking down my street to get a cab to work. I remember the air was fresh and smelt of wet earth (because it had rained the night before). I trotted along, walking on air and happier than a clown (I love rainy days). It was one of those days nothing could even think about going wrong.
"Good Morning, sister", A voice says behind me. I turn to look at him.
"Good Morning", I chirped gleefully.
"Give me your bag."
What??! Wait, what was happening? And then I dropped my gaze and there pointed at me, was a gun. It was such an inelegant gun. If I was going to get shot, definitely not with this ugly gun. It made me just imagine an old blacksmith hitting some metal scraps to make a weapon, including milk tins.
Only in Lagos, would my mugger say 'hey' and even call me "sister". *rme*
At this point, my adrenaline and cortisol is pumping overtime. I quickly look around and there is an old lady about fifty feet away, setting up her roasted plantain (boli) grill. About twenty feet up the road from her, was a man who measures and pumps tires for a living (aka vulcanizer, which I think is a Nigerian word, not a real word by the way lol...they are called foka for short, pun unintended). They both glance at me and continue their morning preparations...this was that moment, that defining moment when I knew the spirit of community was stone dead in Lagos and that I was never buying boli from that woman ever again.
Boli lady had hurt me.
Lagos had hurt me. Lagos hurts everyone who loves it, but we still hang around and love it a bit more. It's a bitter-sweet relationship that only Lagosians can understand.
That's true love, right there.
Back to the story, after being snubbed by "Iya oni boli*" and "foka", I looked down the road for any unjaded passers-by.
No one.
It was 6.30 am, some one was bound to show up, right? Another okada, a fellow commuter, anyone!!! The police would have been nice too...with their station just less than a mile away!
I had to stall, someone would come to my rescue. I looked at him. He was dark and young, wearing a sad brown shirt(not its original color). His face was unsure and I felt like he might just add the word "please" to his demand. Hmmm...a newbie. So I took a chance and decided to appeal to his humane side (Don't do this at home guys, I am a professional lol).
" Please, can I take my work ID? It's all I need,"I asked.
" OK." He says, urging me with a 'go-ahead' gesture with his metal-contraption-gun-thing which I'm sure was Made in Ojota.
Immediately, I dive into my bag and find my ID, then I push it aside, pretending to look for it.
Someone had to come up the road any minute now. They had to rescue me from this intern-mugger and his rickety weapon. Stalling. Intern mugger looks up the road uncomfortably, he was getting impatient but said nothing. He was such a nice guy, really. Lol.
Then, suddenly a bike appears, with a man on it!!!
O yes!! My Hero was here, though his skin looked a little bleached but "hey, Beggars are not Choosers."
My bleached Hero pulls up beside us. Face, mean and strong like any Hero's face would be.
Intern turns around and looks at Hero... he didn't seem very alarmed.
Hero scowls at him, then me, and says to intern, "Shoot her!!!"
At this point, I concluded that humanity was truly in need of a Savior. He apparently wasn't my hero, he was the intern's supervisor! "SHOOT HER!!", he insisted.
Intern looked pleadingly at me, it was either he didn't want to shoot or his contraption had no bullets and it was all a bluff. Hero-turned-bike-riding maniac kept screaming "Shoot her!" I handed over the bag and intern jumped on the back of the bike and rode away with his manager.
I was more sad about the fact that Hero was NOT my Hero than the loss of my beautiful Guess handbag. I was also sad that Hero was almost purple from incessant bleaching. I saw skin disease in his future. I ran home miserable and void of all my items. Everything was in there; my blackberry, my wallet plus bank cards, my makeup purse, the famous work ID card, my bible, my shoes for work (I had walked down the street in flats to catch a cab), my lunch, even!!!
It was quite the experience.
Have you had a mugging experience? Would love to hear about it! Share below!!!
*Iya oni boli (Yoruba language) : A woman who sells roasted plantain as street food.
SCREAM! Cupcake frostings, Cobwebs and Courage
On my bed, flat on my tummy, typing in the dark; thinking about my fears and masterminding their demise.
About 3 months ago, in my old apartment, I ran into a spider while taking a shower. It was a peeping-Tom spider, who in my opinion was too huge for the habit. Of course, I screamed and ran out of the shower. Then spent the next 30 minutes googling methods to kill a spider who just showed up randomly in your bathroom, and also gathering my ammunition, which included a vacuum cleaner, newspapers, a long, long, long, long, lon-ng broom, my spray deodorant (this I can't explain). I tried practicing my swats at it and I bounced from side to side, looking for the best angle to hit it, but still, after a full 40 minutes, I couldn't do anything. I just stood there terrified out of my wits. Then I started to pray. Lol! Jesus is probably like "Girl, seriously?"
The spider definitely didn't move by any divine power. It just stayed there. Then I realized, there was someone else right there with me.... Fear. This had quickly become a fun, crowded showering experience.
Note: I do not like crowded showering experiences.
I then decided- I would NOT let fear rule my bathroom. This is my bathroom! This, I said to the spider. Lol! If this was recorded, I'd have like 5 million hits right now on YouTube.
After another 15 minutes, I hit it with the famous long broom and that was all. Spider, gone; fear zapped; me again all alone, just the way I like my morning rituals.
Fear; it disappears with one swat, one slap, one flick of the wrist. It's a decision, you just need to decide not to share the shower nozzle with it, just the way you'd choose that chocolate fudge buttercream frosting on your cupcake.
Porn Lover or Hater, You should read this!
I know what you are thinking? Who talks about porn on a Tuesday morning? Well, we do! I was going to do a post on porn but then I stumbled on this post on the Art of Manliness (AoM) blog. They killed it (as always)! Therefore, i’ll just probe around this topic, just a little.
So, porn! A strangely fit guy and an unrealistically hot girl, screaming at 500 grunts a minute, the third party glued to the screen clearly trying to achieve something.....important. Now, it's a general misconception that porn improves sexual experiences and performance, not to talk of its signature gift of ungirded excitement as you successfully click on that glorious url and watch it load.
The lights are off, everyone is fast asleep, you grab your laptop and rub your hands together, that mischievous grin on your face in the dark, with a deliberate poke, you hit the power button on your laptop. It ignores your poke. Oh, the battery is completely out from your porn marathon the night before. You scramble off your bed blindly, tripping over some shoes thrown carelessly at the foot of your bed. You grab the charger, connect it to the wall and then your laptop. Your fingers are just about to hit the power button again........ NEPA cuts out the electric power.
Seriously?!
How could this be happening? How?
Well, if that ever happens to you, it might be your lucky day, for every time you skip (intentionally or unintentionally) your porn serving, you are one step closer to a healthier brain, social life and sexual life. Everyone suspects, if not knows for certain, that porn is unhealthy but it's an experience that stimulates the part of the brain which is associated with addiction, so it's a little difficult to control.
Just so you know, here are a couple effects porn may have on you:
1. The 'Fiona-Shrek' effect
Adult material is intentionally crafted to excite the viewer, right? Therefore, the women seem to look much hotter than the average next door Jane. She also looks much hotter than your wife! Hmmm...so after staring at this teeny-waisted, big breasted, Apple-buttomed porn actress (note:actress) for about 5-10 hours a week, chances are your partner will begin to look a little like shrek, complete with funnel ears! The girl on the screen, of course, is your new Fiona. This can only lead to a degradation of your relationship. Reports also show that porn use leads to increased secrecy, less intimacy and depression!
2. Joining Grandpa in the Doctor's office
Studies show that excessive porno use eventually leads to limp situations; “down” is the new “up”, if you know what I mean. More young men are seeking erectile dysfunction medication because they find it a little more difficult to get erections. I have never been in a guy’s head but i know erectile problems are probably your worst nightmare. Bo!
3. Child porn, anyone?
Over time, porn watchers become desensitized to "mainstream" pornographic material. It's just the way it is. Several people report that they start to watch material that they find repulsive but it gets them there, anyway! Gang rapes, child porn etc. Here's why, when the brain gets hit by porn, dopamine is released. The more triple x videos seen, the more the brain becomes insensitive to dopamine, the less excitement is achieved. Of course, the watcher doesn't get as excited as he used to, so he keeps clicking and digging and wading through this porn vortex seeking for the next best thing. It turns out that next best thing progresses from guy/girl combos to orgies to rapes to gang rapes to child rape , it goes on. It gets better…worse, blunted dopamine receptors lead to depression. It's that D-word again.
4. "..A is for Boobs…Duh?"
Porn leads to the weakening of the prefrontal complex which is responsible for cognitive ability, executive function, personality expression and social behavior ; decision making; thoughts and action associated with internal goals. Seriously, that just means it turns a perfectly healthy person into a person who is a little less intelligent, a little more depressed, a limp "countenance" and impaired decision-making abilities! You know we don't mess with our decision-making on PGI. Nuh-un. Don't mess with your decision making, please, please! It's your key to too many things and your avenues to several levels of fulfillment.
Stopping porn all together must be as challenging as any addiction is but here's a link on the blog, AoM that helps with that!
All the best and blow NEPA a kiss for that night!
Have you ever experienced any of these effects? The Fiona-Shrek effect especially?! Do you read the Art of manliness?
Crafted using "The Possible Pitfalls of Porn" AoM
How to Get Him to Propose (Straight from de Men dem)
Hey, hey??! How did your Valentine's weekend go? Don't be disappointed if he didn't propose yesterday; he might have it scheduled for another date or actually, not at all. While the latter option just felt like i shoved an aloe vera stalk in your mouth, it might not be entirely bad that he doesn't plan to propose at all. In fact, if he doesn't plan to and you know, you should joyfully pack your pretty little things and head for the mountains! #DontwasteYOURtime2016
Last week, i had fun asking a few guys about the best way to get a guy to propose. Of course, these are completely their own views on this situation. First, they all agreed that a man can not be forced to propose if he is "not ready"; mentally and financially, which i believe is fair enough. They couldn't quite provide the perfect guide to getting him to propose but they attempted to correct some misconceptions women have about their proposal prospects and then proceeded to give some advice....
......They mentioned a couple of things we girls might be doing that may delay that proposal! Here goes....
“Nagging about it.”
“The sex. If I get the sex, i might take my time with the proposal- Why buy the cow?”
“If she’s dispensable and I’m just passing time”
“Playing house. Washing my clothes, cleaning my apartment and cooking doesn’t mean we are married or that I will propose.”
“You being impatient and complaining about how your friends have kids.”
“Conversation about your eggs...like seriously?...”
Then they provided some advice.......
“Stop waiting for a proposal, it just makes your wait feel longer. Make your own plans. Be busy, focus on your career, go for a Master’s program, begin your own business and channel your passions. A proposal should be an add-on not the main purpose of your life.”
“If you know a guy isn’t going to propose and you know you are wasting your time, you should leave”
“Wait until i’m ready....it might be 7 years”
“Initiate a Long Distance Relationship. He might realize he doesn’t want you far away. Who knows, he just might propose.....or not!”
“Do not be dispensible! Let him understand how valuable you are.”
“Involve Jesus! LoL!”
“Score Goal (get pregnant), he still might not marry you though. Lol! Ok, seriously, don’t get pregnant! *Straight face*”
“Develop yourself. Develop your inner beauty.”
“DO NOT NAG ABOUT IT”
Alright, so does this mean we girls are sentenced to being quiet about our concerns about growing old and our aging eggs and cannot talk about marriage at all with bae? Of course not! I believe at some point in the relationship the discussion about marriage should come up. It's important to know how serious this relationship is or what its prospects are. You deserve to know, don't be scared. Ask questions!
We girls get terrified of asking because we think he will run away. Let him run, it'll save you time. Ask him questions like; "What are views on marriage?", "Where do you see this relationship in 5 years?", "What do you want from me on the long term?" This should be a tear-free, matter-of-fact conversation; you shouldn't be trying to manipulate him, you should be trying to get information with which you will make your decisions. Of course, as a woman your intuition should kick in and you should be able to tell when a guy isn't particularly serious. If he isn't, you'll know.... we always know. In that case, as my Strategic Management teacher once said, "Sometimes, the best strategy to making a profit is the Exit Strategy." You might have to pull the plug on that relationship, if you know its going nowhere; from that move *deep breath*, full steam ahead and greater possibilities!
#DontwasteYOURtime2016
Thanks to all my interviewees! We have kept them anonymous-ish, much love and hugs for the advice, guys!
What are your thoughts? Do you think these really delay the proposal? What do you think about having the prospects-conversation? What are your experiences? Are men weird? Which is your favorite ring? Lol!
P.s: Ahem..Men, those rings up there can be found here, here and here.. just saying!
PGI Feature: Men's Style by Deji Eniola
I met Deji within the first few hours of NYSC camp (you guys have no idea how much treasure i found on those camp grounds- no idea). We were on this ridiculous registration queue from noon until 9pm standing in the sun and then the moon! At about 8.55pm, it began to rain, most people ran for shelter and deserted the ridiculous queue. I looked to my right, saw a plastic chair and lifted it above my head as my make-shift umbrella; to my left was this guy who had grabbed a chair too. We were not kidding here, we were going to be registered no matter what- rain, volcano, avalanche. We stood there and instantly, i knew we'd be friends. He struck me as irrationally resilient and brilliantly resourceful; the perfect fuses for being an entrepreneur! Deji Eniola Osinulu, is the Creative Director of the Nigerian-based Men's bespoke fashion label- Deji Eniola. His brand is frequently sighted on the red carpet, and featured in the 2015 Lagos Fashion and Design Week last October. He has styled some of our favorite celebrities such as TuFace Idibia, M.I Abaga, Christopher Attoh, Dj Spinall, Gideon Okeke.
Here he is; the man behind DE:
Deji, what do you love the most about what you do?
The ability to birth forms and the grace to make something out of nothing
How did you know it had to be fashion?
It was the only thing that didn’t seem it would leave me if every other thing that could leave left. It felt like my ‘Ruth’. It was that thing that puts me in my zone. It was my element. Imagine Kanye telling you “Don’t let me get into my zone” …because there will be no respite for any lyricist challenger against him. *LoL*
How did you learn to design and sew?
Designing is innate for me. It is the only thing I didn’t learn, I definitely had to hone the skill though. However, you know when they say a writer needs to write all the bad stuff out of her system first before getting to the good part? Yeah, I had to design all the ‘rubbish’ out of me first. *Laughs* Then it got to the good part.
With sewing, I took tailoring classes twice actually, once, during my last year in college and also during my NYSC service year on weekends. I started with female outfits. Surprise!
What's your most creative period of the day?
Mornings mostly, probably because i'm still calm enough to be in tune with my mind and spirit. I get ideas and themes at other times of the day too but I find that mornings are most frequent
What's the most unusual inspiration you've ever had?
Colour block! Before the craze started, those words literally floated into my mind. I didn’t understand it to the extent of implementing it. Months later, “colour blocking” swarmed the catwalks and filled the magazine pages.
What’s your creative space like?
I guess by that, you'd be referring to my flat. My studio is quite comfy, and well laid out. I have tried to avoid clutter to give the illusion of more space than it actually has. My bedroom seems to have me more when it comes to designing.
If you could, what would you change about the world of fashion?
Christopher Attoh in D.E
Vanity- but on second thought, I'd rather leave it alone, because it forms the basic foundation of the existence and advancement of fashion, although, the indistinct borderline between ‘necessary’ vanity and ‘absurd’ vanity seems to have faded, the inability to define this borderline, is the ample reason why it should just be left alone. There is a saying “Kill all my demons and my Angels might die too”
The most stressful thing about getting a bespoke service is the wait time! How long does it take you to complete a suit?
It takes an average of 21 working days for our half canvassed suits and much longer for the fully canvassed ones. Waiting is an inherent feature of bespoke. You honestly can't rush the process.
Who are your most admired local (and foreign) designers?
I like the Okunoren twins, I like their story and that they have journied on roads that we now tread. I like Paul Smith for starting his business with just 600GBP and also Ozwald Boateng, for being the first designer (to the best of my knowledge) to lend an African identity to a British heritage.
Your most important work equipment?
My eyes! *Laughs*
After all has been done, from design concept to design execution, what determines if it will make the shelves or hit the runway is its appeal! Beauty doesn’t need a second opinion to know if it’s pleasing or not. I stand back and look at it and immediately I know if it will make it or not.
The most challenging part of designing?
Designing for another! To design for someone else, you have to become him, you have to think like him, you have to know what he likes to do, his preferences and tastes. All that factors into the creative process.
What do you love the most about Lagos?
The beauty in its chaos!
What app do you use the most on your phone?
What's your favorite game?
M.I Abaga in D.E
Grand Theft Auto, Baby!
Your first thought in the morning?
God. And then more God!
The most alarming incident you've seen on Ikorodu road?
I saw a Toyota Highlander burning right there on the express with no one trying to quench the fire. It just got charred and everyone continued their day!
Lagos Traffic survival kit?
If I'm driving; a chilled bottle of coke, (partly iced), music, air conditioning and interesting company. If I'm not driving-a book.
Can you cook?
Yes, I can. I find pleasure in cooking.
Alright then, what's your most exquisite Deji Eniola-made dish?
Haha, see trap! Well, remove the word “exquisite". That word might be a little tricky! *Laughs* It'll have to be noodles!
Deji Eniola with a model
Four things i learnt!
1. "Beauty doesn't need a second opinion..."
2. Understand your industry and what makes it tick!
3. "Write out all the rubbish" and then GOLD!
4. Deji came up with Colour block! What?! If he told me then, we would be gazzilionaires right now! Thanks alot, man.
Thank you, Deji for being PGI's February feature! Below are photos from the Deji Eniola Spring collection as seen at the Lagos Fashion and Design Week! Enjoy!
If you are planning your wedding and bae and the groomsmen intend to buy their suits the day before the wedding like most men do, Lol; tell them to check DE out! They can't go wrong!
Contact
Email: de.bespoke@yahoo.com
Phone: +2348169282829
Follow on IG @dejieniola